The Governess
by emmer23
Summary: Very AU.  Widowed, pregnant, and left with three loveable but needy children, Calliope Torres decides to hire a governess.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: The Governess  
><strong>Pairing<strong>: Callie/Arizona  
><strong>Rating<strong>: K+ for now  
><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: I don't own any characters you recognize – they belong to Shondaland. Also, I realize there is a movie called The Governess. Any similarities between this story and that movie are merely coincidental, as I've never seen the movie.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Very AU. Widowed, pregnant, and left with three loveable but needy children, Calliope Torres decides to hire a governess.

**England – Spring, 1814**

Arianna Robbins steps out of the horse-drawn carriage, careful not to tread too heavily on the muddied, beaten path. She thanks the driver verbally, before running her gloved hand over the horse's black mane in gratitude to the animal as well. She hoists her trunk with both hands so that it rests against her leg. Balancing it precariously against her hip, she lifts her second, smaller bag with her free hand and awkwardly makes her way down the path to her new home.

Calliope Torres watches from the parlor window as the blonde woman struggles down the unpaved path. She lets a smile widen across her face when the blonde places the trunk down and wipes a stray curl off her brow.

"Sofia," Callie calls. "Be a dear and help the governess with her things!"

"Yes, Mother," the 8-year-old brunette replies from her spot on the parlor floor, where she is teaching her younger sister to cross-stitch.

"No running!" her mother bellows after her. Sofia slows until she reaches the door, where she once again picks up her pace and gallops towards her new governess. Callie shakes her head with a smile. Sofia is obedient when it really matters, so she often forgives her eldest daughter's free spirit.

"Hello, Miss!" Sofia says breathlessly, when she comes to a screeching halt in front of Arianna. She gives a slight curtsy and immediately takes the smaller bag out of Arianna's hand.

"Why, hello! You must be the lovely Sofia about whom I've heard only good things."

Sofia giggles. "I _am_ the lovely Sofia, yes. Come on, Mother's inside."

Ari can't help but giggle as the young girl once again takes off for the front door. She follows as quickly behind as she can, but her trunk weighs her down, and Sofia is long gone by the time she reaches the daunting stairs that lead to the door.

"I'm so sorry, Miss Robbins. I don't like to keep servants, so I have no help. I would help you myself, but I can't in my condition," the elegant brunette says from the doorway, gesturing to the small swell of her stomach.

"Oh, I wasn't informed you were with child. Congratulations!" Ari leaves her trunk at the bottom of the stairs so she can be properly introduced to her new employer.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Robbins," Callie says, taking the paler woman's hand in both of hers.

"And you as well, Mrs. Sloan," Ari replies warmly. Callie, however, bristles at the name. "I prefer Miss Torres."

Ari pulls her hand back. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were…"

"I was. My late husband, God bless him, only recently passed and I just can't bear to keep his name and be reminded every day. It's remembrance enough that I have his child growing in me. The children, of course, have his name, but I prefer to go by my maiden name," she says matter-of-factly but without malice, before turning to tend to her children.

Ari sighs and mentally berates herself for her mistake, which is obviously a sore spot for her new employer. She struggles up the steps with her trunk and sets it down in the foyer, silently taking in the magnificent mansion, opulently decorated with paintings and other oddities she believes to be from Spain.

Callie re-enters the room shortly after, with her children following in a line.

"Miss Robbins, you've met my oldest daughter Sofia. Next is Charlotte."

"I'm five!" Charlotte interrupts proudly.

"She just turned five and is rather excited," Callie explains as an apology.

"You're such a big girl," Ari indulges Charlotte and is rewarded with a giggle and a widening of the young girl's big blue eyes.

"Lastly, we have Henry. He's three and a bit shy," Callie says with a laugh as her little boy peers out from around Charlotte. Ari waves at the boy and he ducks back behind his sister.

"Charlotte and Sofia will show you to your room and help you get settled, and then you can join me in the parlor and we will discuss the terms of your employment," Callie continues.

"Follow us, Miss Robbins. Your room is in the East Wing," Sofia says, picking up Ari's smaller bag and heading down the hallway to her left.

"Our rooms are in the West Wing," Charlotte brags. "Mother said it's 10 square feet bigger than the East Wing. I don't know what that means, but it's definitely bigger."

"Lottie, it's not nice to brag," her older sister scolds.

Ari laughs as she follows the pretentious sisters through the wing to her room. She may have her hands full with this family, but between the precocious duo, the shy little one, and the beautiful enigma that was their mother, she is certain she'll never be bored.

**o0o0o**

**"Knock, knock," Ari says, verbalizing her action of rapping on the study door. **

**"Come in," Callie replies.**

**"The children are in the parlor. I told them they could play until supper. I hope that's all right."**

**"Yes, yes, of course. Thank you. I'm a bit unorthodox with the way I run my household, so for the most part, anything goes," Callie says with an apologetic smile.**

**"Well that suits me fine, because I'd say I'm a bit unorthodox myself." Without realizing it, Ari winks at Callie, causing the brunette to blush. Suddenly Callie's already restrictive corset feels as though it is tightening against her rapidly beating heart.**

**"I have to admit, Miss Robbins, that I fear I have lured you here under false pretenses," Callie begins.**

**"I was told I was to be your children's governess; is that not the case? And please, you can call me Arianna, or Ari, like they do at the convent."**

**Callie ignores the latter half of Ari's statement. "It is the case, but I need you to broaden your scope of employment, I'm afraid. I want you to teach the girls, of course, but I just need general help around the house. I'm alone, and as I mentioned, I have no help, except for the lady who comes in to clean once a week and the groundskeeper. In my state, it's become increasingly difficult just to prepare supper every night. You'll have Sundays off, of course, and you can take holidays whenever you need them, but I just can't – "**

**"Relax, ma'am. That's perfectly fine. To be honest, I'm just relieved to be out of the convent."**

**"Oh? Was it not right for you?"**

**"No, it turns out it wasn't," Ari replies without any explanation.**

**"If you don't mind my asking, Miss Robbins – "**

**"Arianna," Ari interrupts.**

**"If you don't mind my asking…Arianna," Callie says slowly, testing the sound, "why did you join the convent?"**

**"I realized at a young age that I could never love a man."**

**Misunderstanding, Callie balks. "But you're beautiful, Arianna! Surely there are men from here to London asking for your hand."**

**"I didn't say that men couldn't love me," Ari replies cheekily. Without wanting to expound further and shock her new employer and, hopefully, new friend, Ari rises. "I'll go get the children ready for supper."**

**Turning on her heel, she swishes out of the room, leaving a very perplexed and intrigued brunette in her wake.**

**o0o0o**

"Miss Robbins, will you teach me piano?" Sofia asks, her mouth full of meat pie.

"Sofia, chew with your mouth closed!" Her mother chastises. Sofia dutifully closes her mouth and makes a big show of chewing without opening her mouth for one second.

"Yes, Sofia, I would be delighted to teach you piano!"

"And me too?" Charlotte asks, careful to wait until she's swallowed so that she could show up her sister.

"Of course!" Satisfied, Charlotte returns to her food. "And what about you, Henry? Would you like to learn to play the piano?"

Henry shakes his head, but keeps his eyes trained on his plate.

"No? Why not?" Ari asks, a playful pout on her face.

"Hard," he says simply.

"Well, luckily for you, I am a superb teacher!" Ignoring Callie's raised brow at her strange vocabulary, Ari continues, "Do you think you could give it a try? For me?"

Henry nods, pushing some mushy peas around his plate with his small fork.

"Well that's settled, then! Piano lessons for all of you first thing tomorrow morning," Ari says with finality. The two girls cheer, while Callie rolls her eyes and Henry continues to play with his peas.

**o0o0o**

"You were really great with the children," Callie says, breaking their relative silence as the two wash the dishes from dinner. The children have been put to bed and now, without the distraction, Callie struggles to figure out what to talk about.

"Thank you. They're lovely, Miss Torres."

"Since I have to call you Arianna, it's only fair that you call me by my first name."

"Thank you, Calliope," Ari replies.

Callie cringes and Ari continues, "Did I get your name wrong again?"

"No, no it's fine. Usually friends and acquaintances simply call me Callie while my family calls me Calliope."

Ari frowns. "But a beautiful name such as Calliope suits you far better." Without letting Callie disagree, Ari places her hand on the taller woman's elbow. "You should be resting, given your condition."

"I can wash a few plates."

"As can I. Why don't you retire early tonight? I will finish these dishes."

Callie smiles gratefully at the blonde whose arms are now elbow-deep in the warm water bucket. "I am rather tired."

"Go to bed, Calliope. I'll see you in the morning."

**o0o0o**

**When Callie awakes almost an hour later than her usual time, she is surprised to walk into the kitchen to find all three of her children dressed and eating porridge. The girls' hair is braided immaculately with ribbons fastening the ends. Henry's hair is neatly combed and parted at the side. He looks like a little gentleman.**

**"Look, Mother, I have two braids this morning!" Charlotte practically squeals, as she tugs on her pigtails. She has only ever had one braid before.**

**Callie smiles indulgingly at her middle child, before sending a more genuine smile towards Ari. "You are a miracle worker."**

**"I'm just doing my job," Ari replies, secretly accepting and appreciating the praise.**

**"Mother, can you take Henry with you when you go to town today? Miss Robbins is teaching Charlotte and me piano and he will just get in the way," Sofia says, not the least bit apologetic. Henry just scowls and shifts in his seat.**

**"Now, Sofia, that's not very nice. Henry said he would like to learn as well, isn't that right, Henry?"**

**Henry shakes his head. "But Henry, you said last night you wanted to learn," Callie implores, desperate for some time on her own in town.**

**"Go with you," he says. His bottom lip quivers as he tries to keep the tears at bay.**

**Callie sighs. "Okay, but just for today."**

**Ari crouches so that she is at the toddler's level. "Tomorrow I will give you an extra special private piano lesson, how does that sound?"**

**"Sounds nice," Henry replies with a sniffle.**

**"You two girls go get situated by the piano, and Henry, can you put your boots on all by yourself like a big boy?"**

**None of the children reply verbally, but they all nod and begin their tasks. Once the children are out of earshot, Callie turns to Ari.**

**"You'll have to excuse Henry. Ever since his father died, he's been very…reserved. You see, he's somehow got it in his head that he's the reason his father is never coming back. The girls were affected, of course, but they are already recovering."**

**"And you?" Ari asks tentatively.**

**"I'm coping."**

**A/N:** Hello, all! Here I am with a new fic. Yes, I'm still co-writing The Prep, a new chapter of which is coming hopefully this weekend, but Jamie convinced me to go ahead and start posting this now. Also, I _really_ will write a sequel to Tchaikovsky at some point, for those of you who were looking forward to that next. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter – it's going to be an interesting ride, so bear with me! (And yes, I'm trying my hand at the present tense. It just felt right to write a period fic in present for who knows what reason.)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**** I just wanted to address the name thing since a few of you asked me about it. Yes, Arianna ****_is_**** Arizona. I know it's off-putting, and I don't like it either. I don't even like it when authors give her a nickname. The problem is that this is set in 1814 in England. Arizona wouldn't even be a state for another 100 years, let alone a battleship. I hope it doesn't bother you all too much.**

**Also, thanks so much for the initial support! You guys are the best. This chapter is a bit shorter, but I assure you the others I've written so far are more substantial, and I may have zero self-control and post chapter 3 earlier than I'd intended.**

**Chapter 2**

"So Olivia falls in love with another woman?" Sofia asks, disgust dripping from her voice.

"Well, she falls in love with Cesario. She doesn't know Cesario is really Viola," Ari corrects gently.

"But what if she accidentally kisses Viola thinking she's Cesario?" Sofia asks again, utterly astonished at the mere possibility.

"Well then, I guess that could make for an uncomfortable situation if Viola does not want to be kissed by a lady," Ari answers as diplomatically as possible. Now is not the time to espouse her beliefs on women kissing other women.

"I wouldn't mind pretending to be a boy," Charlotte says thoughtfully after much time spent pondering the first act of _Twelfth Night_. "Their clothes look far more comfortable."

"I bet it would be nice to wear slacks like boys do," Ari readily agrees, "but don't you think skirts and dresses are prettier?"

Both girls think for a moment before nodding and deciding that yes, being a girl is far superior.

"I see you are already having a negative influence on my children," Callie chides playfully as she walks into the parlor, a bag of fresh produce from the market in town under one arm and Henry attached to the other. The girls dutifully jump up to take the bag from their mother and unload the produce in the kitchen.

"Well, they quickly grew tired of piano, so we moved on to Shakespeare," Ari explains, holding up her worn copy of _Twelfth Night_.

"Like I said, you are corrupting them already," Callie says, a twinkle in her eye. She cannot place her desire to tease Arianna, but she also doesn't want to stop.

"I think that depends on your interpretation. I find nothing troublesome about a woman dressing as a man and joining the military. Do you, Calliope?"

Callie suddenly finds it difficult to swallow. Ari is looking at her with such a tender, yet fierce, look that it makes her head spin. Henry looks back and forth between the two women, content to be a silent observer of their odd behavior. Callie swallows what seems to be an impossibly large lump in the back of her throat and finds her voice.

"No, not at all," Callie answers, attempting to stay her ground and match Ari's gaze.

**o0o0o**

**Ari wakes suddenly from a nightmare, the same nightmare she has had every night since her brother's passing. Glancing out the single window in her bedroom, she notes that it can't be later than three in the morning. She runs a hand through her mangy blonde locks and rolls onto her side, willing herself to get just a couple more hours of sleep. As her lids become heavy once more, she swears she hears plaintive cries and moans coming from somewhere else in the house. She scrambles in her drawer for her matches. Having found one, she quickly lights the lamp at her bedside and immediately makes her way down the hallway to the West Wing of the Sloan estate. **

**As she passes through the kitchen, she hears the cries and sniffling increase in volume, and she realizes it is not coming from the children's rooms. She notices light from a single lamp, much like her own, emanating from the parlor. She makes her way to the door and assesses the situation, careful not to make any noise.**

**Callie is seated in a plush puce armchair in a corner of the parlor. Her lamp rests on the sill of the window out of which she gazes across the grounds. Her features are illuminated in the reflection of the window. Ari's eyes follow drops of the light rain that trace the contours of Callie's face. Her hair is down and raven curls accentuate her high cheekbones, dark, handsome eyes, and full, rosy lips.**

**So caught up in Callie's sheer beauty illuminated by the soft lamplight, Ari gasps, alerting Callie to her presence. Callie jerks away her head from the window.**

**"Oh, Arianna, you frightened me!" she exclaims as she begins to rise from her chair, blinking back tears.**

**"No, no, please don't get up. I'm sorry. I heard a sound and I thought it might have been one of the children and then I saw you here and…well, I'm sorry for startling you."**

**Callie stares at Ari without saying a word, torn between wanting to cry from shame and wanting to laugh at the way Ari rambles on. Ari immediately turns in the doorway, her lamp swinging by her side. She stops when she is just two steps into the hallway and turns.**

**"Unless, you want someone to talk to?"**

**Initially Callie shakes her head. Not wanting to push it, Ari turns once more to head to her room.**

**"Actually, if you wouldn't mind…" Callie says shyly. She is tired of being lonely and having a friend can't hurt.**

**In an instant, Ari is by her side. She sets her own lamp on the floor and sits down, tucking her legs by her side. She sits close enough to Callie that they will be able to speak freely without waking the children, but tries to give the morose woman some personal space.**

**They sit like this for several moments, Callie gazing out the window, unsure where to start, but appreciating the blonde's presence, and Ari remaining on the floor and peering up at her employer expectantly.**

**"It's difficult," Callie starts in a low voice and Ari waits for her to expound. "It's difficult every day to parent the children on my own, to have another child on my own, to go to town and see the pitying glances, because everyone knows, everyone talks and gossips behind my back. They say cruel things about my children, because how can one woman raise four children on her own with no husband and no servants? They think they're unruly and ill-mannered. They also say no man will ever ask my hand in marriage, because he would not put up with the little miscreants."**

**Ari finds herself inching closer to Callie throughout her speech, her heart breaking with each new utterance. She's only known Callie for a couple days at this point, but she can tell the woman is a fabulous mother, who lets her children be children and does not stifle their creativity and personalities like many women of the aristocracy do.**

**"Oh, Calliope," Ari breathes, placing a gentle hand on Callie's leg. Callie initially tenses at the sudden, but not unwelcomed, contact, an unexpected tingling sensation traveling up her body and pooling in her stomach. Ari does not pull back, but strokes a soothing pattern over the thin cotton of Callie's nightgown.**

**"We didn't have a perfect marriage, far from it." Callie snorts deprecatingly as she thinks back to her marriage. "But Mark was a great man and an amazing father." A lone tear slips down her cheek as she turns towards Ari. "I miss him. I miss that kind of companionship."**

**"That's perfectly understandable," Ari says in a low voice, still trying to pacify the brunette with her gentle touch. "Yes, people talk, Calliope, but that's all it is: talk. You are raising the children wonderfully on your own and they will grow up to be superb adults."**

**Callie laughs at Ari's use of the word "superb" and smiles gratefully at the blonde woman. "Thank you, Ari."**

**Ari is positively giddy after hearing the other woman use her nickname. "And anyway, who needs a husband when you have me as a governess?" Ari smiles impishly.**

**At this, Callie raises one eyebrow and stares curiously at the woman sitting on the floor. She's never considered their situation anywhere akin to a spousal relationship, but the thought does not completely disgust her.**

**"I suppose that's true."**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**** Okay, you guys are spoiled. I had no intention of posting this so early, but I have no self-control, and I told Jamie that I would post it if she worked on The Prep, which she is dutifully doing currently.**** Of course, my posting this chapter is a double-edged sword, because I'm posting faster than I'm writing, but I still have a bit of a head start.**

**Chapter 3**

"I heard in town today that the wars against Napoleon may soon be coming to an end," Callie says in a low voice so that only Ari can hear.

Tears immediately prick in the blonde's eyes. "Oh, thank goodness. That is such good news!"

"It is indeed," Callie agrees.

"Hello, Mother!" the two girls call when they notice their mother's presence. Henry also smiles and gives a little half wave. Although there had been the usual argument this morning over whether Henry could go with his mother into town, the two women had finally convinced him to stay at home, for which Callie was very grateful.

"Hello, children. Have you all behaved for Miss Robbins?" As she asks, Callie rounds the table, dropping a kiss on each of her children's foreheads.

"Of course!" "Yes, Mother." The two girls say simultaneously. Henry simply nods, as usual.

"Why don't you three play outside while Miss Robbins and I prepare supper?"

The three jump up and race each other outside, completely ignoring their mother's call of "no running!" Callie shakes her head with a laugh, before turning back to Ari.

"Look!" Callie says excitedly as she produces an oval-shaped fruit from her bag.

"What is that?" Ari asks, fingering the rubbery exterior.

"They call it a mango. It comes from India."

"Is it…sweet?"

"I think so. I thought we could stew it and have it after supper."

"What a treat!" Ari begins enthusiastically. "Although, I think we should try it now…to make sure it's safe for the children." Her eyes glimmer with adventure.

Callie thinks for a moment. "Hand me a knife."

Ari claps with excitement, before rushing to get a sharp knife and handing it carefully to Callie. The brunette slices the fruit in half around the pit, and both women stare in awe at the amount of juice which oozes from the mango. Callie cuts two chunks out of the interior, careful to avoid the unwashed skin. Passing one chunk to Ari, Callie giggles as the juice already begins to drip down their fingers. As soon as Ari receives her piece, it is in her mouth. She moans as the sweet wetness meets her taste buds. Sucking the remaining juice from her fingers, Ari closes her eyes and tilts her head back in pleasure.

"God, that's good," she says after swallowing the last satisfying drop. When she opens her eyes, she notices Callie is staring at her, mouth agape and syrup dripping all the way down her hand. Cocking her head to the side, Ari lets a coy smile spread across her face. "Aren't you going to try it? It's delicious."

Callie's mouth snaps shut and she looks down at the dripping piece of fruit in her hand. "Right, right, yes, of course I'm going to try it."

She looks once more at Ari, trying to rid her mind of the sight and sound of Ari's indulgence. She brings her own piece to her mouth and pops it in her mouth, her tongue darting out to collect the moisture. Now it is Ari's turn to be caught off guard by the sight of the other woman enjoying her slice of mango.

"You're right, that really was good," Callie agrees readily.

Ari nods, her eyes dancing towards Callie's glistening lips. She notices a drop of juice trickle from the brunette's lips to her chin. Before taking the time to think through her action, Ari lifts a hand and swipes her thumb just below Callie's lip to get rid of the excess juice. Their eyes meet for an intense moment before Callie shifts her gaze awkwardly to the food pantry.

"Supper?"

"Yes, definitely," Ari mutters, unsure whether she is disappointed in Callie's reaction or her own foolishness.

**o0o0o**

Once the two women have prepared a supper of cold meats and breads, Ari heads outside to bring the children in to eat.

"Charlotte!" she calls, when she sees the middle child behind a tree.

"Shhhhh!"

Confused, but not wanting to upset the fiery girl more, Ari creeps closer to her.

"Why are you telling me to be quiet?" Ari whispers when she reaches Charlotte.

"Sof and Henry are trying to find me," Charlotte says conspiratorially. "So you have to hide better if you want to stay here."

With a swift nod of her head to convey how seriously she is taking this, Ari whispers, "Yes, ma'am."

Charlotte giggles at her companion's delivery, before she realizes her mistake and clamps two hands over her mouth. Charlotte gasps when she hears the distinct crackle of a twig snapping behind them. She looks to her co-conspirator in terror and inquisition. Glancing over her shoulder, Ari sees the unmistakable image of brown hair slipping behind a tree trunk.

"Run!" Ari says in a frenzied whisper. In two seconds flat, Charlotte is off, her mousy hair cascading behind her as she dashes out of the wooded area and into the well-manicured lawns of the Sloan estate. Ari is following closely behind, turning every few seconds to see the other two children fast approaching. Well, that description may not be completely accurate. Sofia is fast approaching. Henry is toddling along as quickly as his little legs can carry him.

"Ari?" Callie calls as she steps off the stairs of the back patio. She stops dead in her tracks as she witnesses the scene in front of her: her children and their governess chasing each other haphazardly around the gardens, all four of them giggling. Callie knows her family has been coping fairly well (with the exception of Henry's silence) since the death of her husband and her children's father, but the sound of such joyous laughter filling her estate warms her heart. It's a sound she knows she would gladly give her right arm to hear every day for the rest of her life.

At the sound of Arianna's name, all four stop and turn towards the brunette, who has her hands on her hips, a mockingly angry pout on her face. "Miss Robbins, I thought I asked you to bring the children in for supper," she says, unable to stop the slight twitching at the corner of her mouth.

"Um, you did, but then Charlotte here," she begins, gesturing to the young brunette who is looking anywhere but at her mother, "forced me to hide with her. I was powerless!" Ari pouts and bats her eyelashes, hoping to sway Callie.

"Is that true, Charlotte?"

"Yes, ma'am," the poor little scapegoat answers obediently.

"We're just teasing, Lottie," Callie answers, using Charlotte's pet name. She often feels sorry for the middle child, who is unfortunately used to being picked on. "Come on, everyone. Supper is ready."

The four file into the house in order of age with Ari taking up the rear.

"I didn't realize I actually had four children living in my house," Callie says under her breath as Ari walks by her. When the blonde turns to shoot her a playful glare, Callie winks. Ari feels warmth engulf her entire body and she turns to follow the children so Callie cannot see her blush.

**o0o0o**

"When I mentioned the wars with Napoleon earlier, you seemed upset," Callie says suddenly when Callie and Ari are lounging in the parlor after the children have gone to bed. This has become a nightly ritual for the two women ever since the night Ari found Callie crying to herself. It helps both relax after a day of looking after the children and both find they sleep far more soundly afterwards.

"Well, war is a very upsetting subject, Callie," she replies with a slight edge to her voice.

"Yes, I know, Arianna, but I was talking about how it's almost over, which is a good thing," Callie says in a similar tone.

"It's taken so many of our men," Ari argues. "And for what? One man's deluded fantasy of ruling the world?

"Yours too, huh?"

Ari nods. "My brother. Mr. Sloan?"

"Mark died in battle, yes."

"I'm really sorry to hear that," Ari says sincerely.

"Me too," Callie agrees. The two fall into a comfortable silence, both thinking of their lost loved ones.

"Tell me about your brother," Callie requests gently after a few moments.

Ari gives a nostalgic smile. "He was a wonderful man. He was so jovial. You couldn't help but smile when he was around. He was my closest friend, and we told each other everything. He accepted me for who I am; he disagreed with my joining the convent," Ari trails off.

Callie's eyebrow knits in slight confusion, but before she can ask Ari to elucidate further, the blonde asks, "And Mark?"

"Mark was _my_ closest friend. Our marriage was arranged by our fathers. It was entirely a business proposition, but I could not have asked for a better match. I was comfortable with him. And he loved the children so much. I think leaving them was the hardest part for him."

"Do you ever wonder if there's something more than that?" Ari asks thoughtfully after taking in Callie's story.

"More than what?"

"Comfort."

Callie cocks her head to the side, pondering Ari's question. She scrunches her nose and mouth together in frustrated contemplation. "I think maybe as a child I dreamed there was, but I think, as an adult, I've learned to be grateful for comfort. Some people are not lucky enough to have even that."

Ari nods in silent affirmation of Callie's beliefs. "I hope that my being here helps you to continue to feel comfortable."

"It does," Callie readily agrees. Callie breathes deeply, before continuing, "It's getting late. We should head to bed."

"Yes, I suppose it is." Ari stands and extends a hand to help Callie off her own chair. Callie takes the proffered hand gratefully and finds herself standing mere inches away from Ari. The two women hold each other's gaze for a moment, before Callie suddenly flicks her eyes away.

"Thank you," Callie says quietly. What she's thankful for she cannot quite ascertain, but she knows that the two simple words needed to be said.

Ari wraps her arms around Callie's broad shoulders, coaxing the taller woman into an awkward hug. "You're welcome."

Callie hesitantly wraps her own arms around Ari's small frame, squeezing ever so gently. Just as Callie is about to pull away, she feels the slightest flutter emanating from the swell of her stomach.

"What was that?" Ari asks, bewildered, as she pulls away suddenly.

The corners of Callie's lips quirk upwards quickly until a wide grin spreads across her face. "I think the baby just kicked for the first time."

Ari sucks in a shuddering breath of air in astonishment. "That's incredible."

"It is," Callie laughs, enjoying Ari's awe.

"May I?" Ari asks, waving her hand in the general area of Callie's stomach, impliedly asking if she can touch.

Callie brings her own hands up with tacit approval and takes Ari's hand in both of hers, laying it flat over her stomach, her own hands covering it. The two don't have to wait very long; two more flutters are felt against Callie's skin seconds later.

"He or she likes you," Callie says with a smile, only partly teasing.

"Well, I already like him or her," Ari replies, a playful glint in her eye.

The two stand close together, Ari's hand creating soothing patterns over Callie's stomach until the baby finally stills.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**** Jamie conned me into posting this now, by writing more of The Prep, so thank her for the update. I wanted to thank you all for the reviews and story alerts. Really appreciate it!**

**Chapter 4**

**Happily breathing in the fresh air of an unseasonably warm April morning, Ari strolls through town on her second Sunday off. As much as she enjoys spending time with the children and their mother, she is grateful for some time away.**

**She smiles politely at those selling their wares or fresh produce in the market, before slipping down an unpaved alley at the edge of the main cobble-stoned street. She treads carefully on the winding road, passing a few dingy row homes and badly-lit public houses, where even at this early hour, men can be found drowning their sorrows in frothy pints and enjoying the company of several buxom women, whose bodices seem to be missing a few buttons. Ari ignores the calls from the men asking her to join in their late-morning revelry and continues on her purposeful quest.**

**At last, she reaches the end of the winding alley and the end of her journey. In front of her is a tiny, unassuming bookshop. A wooden board, which presumably once read the name of the shop, swings over the door and creaks in the wind. The windows have seemingly not been cleaned in years, and the sills have begun to rot. Ari smiles as she grasps the door handle, indifferent to the shop's dilapidation. The shopkeeper looks up at the first sound of Ari's footstep across the mantle and sends a smile of familiarity to the blonde.**

**"It has been a while, Miss Robbins," he greets warmly. "How is it at the Abbey?" **

**"Not a good fit for me, I'm afraid," Ari replies honestly. "I'm now a governess."**

**"Ah, that suits you much better, my dear," the elderly shopkeeper nods. "I must say I was always amazed you were so religious, considering the…subject matter of some of the books you bought," he adds gently, without a hint of judgment.**

**"Yes, well, that was part of the problem, and I can be as stubborn as they come, so it was my time to leave."**

**"Well, you look well. I think this new position will be good for you." Without letting Ari speak, he continues, "Now, let's see what we have for you today."**

**"Thank you, Mr. James," Ari says as she follows the owner through his disorganized jumble of eclectic books, ranging from foreign works to those detailing the mysteries of the occult to historical rarities. Mr. James leans down and pulls a book triumphantly from the bottom of the shelf and presents it to Ari.**

**"Already read it," she says with a guilty smile.**

**The shopkeeper puts it back in an entirely different spot and resumes his search. "You've read every damn thing Shakespeare ever wrote at least ten times," he mumbles to himself as he moves to a different corner of the store.**

**"John Milton?" he asks, offering a copy of ****_Paradise Lost_**** to Ari.**

**"Sounds perfect!" Ari exclaims, willing to read anything Mr. James recommends to quench her voracious thirst for literature. As the two walk to the front of the shop so that she can pay, Ari scans the shelf at eye-level. She stops mid-way to the front desk and takes a longer look at one book in particular.**

**"Mr. James? What's this one?" she asks, pulling the thin book from the shelf.**

**Mr. James pivots on his heels and he immediately recognizes the pamphlet Ari is holding. "Ah, yes, ****_The Female Husband!_**** How could I have forgotten? It is perfect for you. I'll warn you that it is fiction, but you know what I always say about fiction."**

**"It's merely authors taking scenarios and stories from their own lives and changing the names?"**

**"Precisely," Mr. James says with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I'm so glad you spotted that. That's one of the few copies. Once you've read it, you'll see why they are not rushing to print hundreds of copies."**

**Ari pays and thanks Mr. James for his continued recommendations and for keeping the diverse shop open, despite the fact that most people would not be caught dead in it. **

**o0o0o**

When Ari walks through the door to the Sloan estate later that afternoon, she is bombarded by the sound of children arguing and their harried mother trying her best to calm them down. Thought it is technically still her day off, Ari throws her bag haphazardly on the table in the kitchen and continues to the library, from whence she can hear the racket emanating.

As soon as she is over the threshold of the door, Charlotte jumps up and rushes to her, hoping to gain an ally in her ongoing war with her sister. "She says I'm no good at sewing or cleaning or cooking and I'll never have a husband," Charlotte sniffles, while pointing to Sofia, in case there is any doubt to whom 'she' refers.

"Well, I happen to think you are an excellent seamstress, cleaner, and cook," Ari says soothingly, attempting to avoid the husband discussion entirely.

"And you think I will have a husband?" Charlotte asks, searching Ari's face with her bloodshot, watery eyes.

"Yes, if that is what you want," Ari hedges diplomatically.

Callie shoots Ari a grateful look, before standing and walking towards the door.

"I'll go begin preparations for supper," she begins.

"I'll stay here with the children," Ari offers.

"But it's your day off," Callie argues.

"I don't mind, really. I've had plenty of time off this morning."

Callie smiles a grateful, albeit exhausted smile and heads to the kitchen, while Ari entertains the children with a made-up story from her day in town.

Callie's smile widens when she hears: "What do you think I saw in town today?" "A dragon!" "That is exactly correct, Lottie. I saw a dragon, a fire-breathing one."

As Callie heads to the pantry to pull out some food, she spots Ari's bag that had been flung on the table, its contents spilling out. Intending to put the books back in the bag and take it to Ari's room, Callie walks over to the table. She picks up _Paradise Lost_ and places it in the bag, before picking up the second book and chucking it in the bag as well, not bothering to read the title. When she picks up the bag, the books shift and she notices the second title: _The Female Husband_. Narrowing her eyes, she ponders the concept. She shakes her head and hangs the bag on the back of one of the kitchen chairs and turns back to the pantry to finish her job.

After carving just a few pieces of meat, her thoughts are still with the book she just saw. She just cannot fathom what it means to be a female husband. She places the knife down next to the beef on the wooden counter and walks resolutely back to Ari's bag. Callie looks down the hallway to her left. Hearing laughter from the library, she believes she is safe, so she reaches into the bag and quickly pulls out the small book.

She flips open the book and skims several pages, eyes widening when she reads that the protagonist, Mary Hamilton, is married…to a woman! So engrossed is she in this fascinating, terrifying, _exhilarating _new world that she does not hear her two daughters enter the room.

"Mother?" Sofia asks softly.

Startled, Callie jumps, and immediately thrusts the book back into Ari's bag, a deep blush forming on her face.

"Isn't that Miss Robbins's bag?" Charlotte asks with a furrowed brow.

"Girls! What are you doing here? I thought you were with Miss Robbins," Callie avoids the question breathlessly.

"Henry wanted to speak with her alone, so she told us to come see if you needed help," Sofia says with a shrug, both girls thankfully oblivious to their mother's peculiar behavior.

**o0o0o**

Ari watches as Henry finds particular fascination with the wooden floorboards. He picks at their seams and runs his chubby little fingers along them.

"You'll get a splinter, Henry," Ari chides softly. "Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

Henry looks up at Arianna, saline water threatening to tumble over the lids of his brown eyes. "I can't."

"You can, Henry. You're a big boy with a big vocabulary for someone your age. You can tell me."

He shakes his head, indicating that knowledge of words is not the problem.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me," Ari tries.

Henry looks up again, searching for Ari for trustworthiness. Finally, he seems satisfied and he breathes deeply, puffing out his chest, before exhaling the air through swollen cheeks.

"I killed him," Henry admits simply.

"Pardon?"

"I killed Father."

"No, you didn't Henry. War and guns killed your father."

"I told him war was fun…so he went," Henry adds as explanation, wise beyond his three years on the planet and amazingly articulate.

Ari opens her arms and allows Henry to scramble onto her lap. "Your father went to war because he was conscripted. Do you know what that means?"

Henry shakes his head, before burrowing his face in Ari's bosom.

"It means that King George asked your father to fight Napoleon."

"Really?" Henry asks, extremely proud to think of his father being asked personally by the King of England to fight.

"Really. And your father served nobly and helped to fight for the sovereignty of England." Henry quirks his head inquisitively, not knowing what that big word means. "He fought so England could still be England…instead of France." Ari screws up her face in comic disgust.

"But it's not fair," Henry whines.

"No, no it isn't, but your father died a hero, and he was very brave. He never wanted to leave you, but it's not your fault, and he knew that."

Somewhat satisfied, Henry nods against her chest. "Okay."

Ari just hugs him close to her chest and rocks him gently until his eyes clear and he stops sniffling.

**o0o0o**

"I don't know what you said to Henry, but I've never heard him speak so much in my life. He wouldn't stop talking at supper last night!" Callie says as she and Ari tidy up around the house, while the children play in the garden.

"He just needed some reassurance, that's all," Ari replies humbly.

Callie nods her thanks and the two continue to dust and sweep in silence. She wants to ask Ari about the book she found the day before, but she cannot find the right words.

"Penny for your thoughts, Calliope?"

Callie swivels on her heels to face Ari. "Oh, uh…pardon? My thoughts? Just…uh silly thoughts, meaningless ones. Just whether to make some soup, whether the children need a new set of clothes. Normal, boring thoughts," she rambles.

"Normal, boring thoughts usually don't make one's face flush a deep red," Ari points out teasingly.

"I, well, um…I just…"

"You can tell me," Ari says, her voice now much more gentle.

"Isawyourbook," Callie says quickly with no pauses.

"Pardon?"

"I saw your book, and I read a few pages. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, but I thought it was quite…intriguing."

"Take a breath. It's fiction, Calliope."

"Right, yes. Yes, of course. Fiction."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** The bad news is this is the last chapter I had pre-written. The good news is…I'm posting a chapter? As always, thank you guys for the reviews! I know I'm terrible at replying to you all (I'm getting better!), but I appreciate every review.

**Chapter 5**

"I can't stop thinking about that book," Callie confesses to Ari the following night. The two are sitting close together on the plush settee in the parlor. Callie is "reading" a book, while Ari sews her torn hem, which Callie swears was from too much running around with the children.

"It's really nothing, Callie," Ari replies. She keeps her eyes trained on the fabric in front of her, never once breaking her rhythmic pattern. The slight sound of the needle and thread passing through the thick fabric of her dress is the only noise between the two women for several moments.

After a painfully long silence, Ari realizes that it has been a while since Callie has flipped a page. Peering up from her task, Ari sees that Callie is staring at her unabashedly with a look she cannot place.

"Calliope," she warns. "Leave it."

"Why do you read fiction like that?" Callie asks, ignoring Ari's request completely.

"It interests me," Ari hedges.

"It is intriguing," Callie agrees.

"You think so?"

"Well, it's nothing I'd ever thought about before. You know, a woman marrying another woman. But I guess you have?" Callie asks, trying and failing to sound nonchalant.

"I just think love is love," Ari says with finality.

Ari is unsure how to proceed with the conversation, unsure what her new friend would think if she knew she has more than a mere interest in the subject matter. She simply hums her agreement before going back to her sewing. Not a minute later, Ari gasps and lets out a loud whine, before biting her lip to stop a nasty string of curse words. Callie immediately glances up from her book to see Ari sucking on her left forefinger, tears in her eyes.

"Oh, did you prick yourself?" Ari nods. "Let me see." Callie gently takes the injured finger in her hands and looks it over. "That's quite the stab. You must not have been paying much attention to it." Seeing the deep blush that graces Ari's face, Callie continues, "I'll find some bandages."

"No, no," Ari says quickly, not wanting to break contact. "I think it's okay now," she whispers, consumed by the energy coursing through her body by the simplest of touches from the brunette.

Without releasing the blonde's hand, Callie's eyes drift towards the light pink lips mere inches away from her own. When her eyes flick back up, they meet hazy blue ones and she is overwhelmed with how enraptured she is with the sight.

"I don't…" Callie starts, her voice a breathy whisper.

Ari swallows a thick lump in the back of her throat as her hand, still firmly ensconced in Callie's, becomes clammy. When Callie's gaze once again involuntarily lands on her lips, Ari decides to take a chance. She quickly closes the remaining gap between them, her lips almost grazing the brunette's. When she sees Callie's eyes flutter close, she places her lips softly against Callie's. The kiss is firm, but relatively chaste, and neither woman moves for several seconds, both scared and excited to feel the other woman's lips on their own.

Callie eventually pulls back and releases Ari's hand, scooting back on the couch.

"Arianna, I can't…"

"Calliope, no, I shouldn't have," Ari says quickly, placing a gentle hand on the taller woman's elbow. "I'm sorry."

Callie shakes her head, a single tear streaking down her cheek, as she recoils from Ari's touch. She stands, head still shaking, thoughts reeling. Silently, and without a single hesitation or backwards glance, she walks out of the room, leaving Ari alone in the parlor, wondering how she could have possibly been so brash.

**o0o0o**

Neither says anything about their kiss as the weeks go by. They function. There is no easy banter between them, they do not stay up late after the children have gone to bed to talk, and there are no shared smiles when the children do something inadvertently hilarious. They simply function.

An apology is always on the tip of Ari's lips, but she can never get the words out, because she's not sorry. In fact, if given the choice, knowing the outcome, she knows she would do it again just to feel Callie's lips on hers. Such a simple kiss evoked a passion within her she has never experienced before. So she doesn't apologize, because she would give anything to kiss Callie again.

Callie, on the other hand, wants to be angry at the blonde. She wants to be angry so badly that she convinces herself that she is. She convinces herself that she is angry and entirely not interested in her children's caretaker. She is lonely and she just lost her husband; it is only natural that she would seek companionship from the only adult in her life. She tells herself this over and over and is fairly good at believing it. That is, of course, until she sees Arianna playing with the children, laughing, her dimples shining, until she sees the blonde gazing at her longingly. It's in those moments that she wants to stop trying to convince herself and just feel. But she keeps her mouth shut, because it is not who she is and it is wrong and unnatural to feel this way.

Their relationship degenerates until they barely speak to each other at all and their true feelings go unsaid. So, it should not come as a shock when Callie walks down the hallway from her bedroom one morning to find Arianna in the foyer, her trunk at her side.

"You were just going to leave without saying goodbye to the children?" Callie asks sternly, startling the blonde. "Or me?" she adds as an afterthought.

"No, no, of course I was going to say goodbye. I'm not that cruel, Calliope."

"So you _are_ leaving?"

Arianna bites back her sarcastic retort about her trunk being an indication.

"Uh…yes."

"Why?"

"Why?" Arianna parrots. "I think you know why."

"You have an obligation here, Arianna, to the children. They will not understand why you are abandoning them, and quite frankly, I won't have a good answer for them."

"I know that, but…"

"Where are you going?"

"Back to the convent."

Callie cocks her head to the side slowly, a sad smile crossing her face. "You hated it there, so you left to come here. Do you hate it here?"

"No," Ari replies softly. "I don't hate it here at all." She looks to Callie and sighs, realizing that the brunette deserves some sort of explanation. "When things get difficult, I leave," she explains. "When Timothy died, it was too hard for me to live at home, so I joined the convent. When that became difficult, I came here. And now…"

"Now it's difficult for you to be here."

"Yes," she whispers.

"Stay," Callie implores. She doesn't know what to say or how to explain what she's feeling, so she relies on that one-word request.

"Why are you asking me to stay?"

Before Callie can answer, the children choose that inopportune moment to enter the foyer in search of their mother and governess. Sofia gasps when she takes in the scene.

"Miss Robbins, why do you have your trunk with you?"

Fearing the worst, Charlotte flings herself at Arianna's legs and holds on tight. "You can't go, Miss Robbins!"

Henry follows suit and latches himself to Ari's other leg, nodding his assent and sniffling into the rough cloth of her dress.

"Well?" Sofia asks. "Are you leaving?"

"Yes, Miss Robbins, are you?" This time the question comes from their mother. The brunette has her arms crossed over her chest and one eyebrow raised, daring Ari to answer.

There is a long pause. Ari catches the gaze of Callie and mini-Callie. Though Sofia is mimicking her mother's stance, the usually stoic girl is trying desperately to hide her emotions, her bottom lip quivering. Running her hand through Charlotte's mangy locks, she hears both of the younger children sniffle.

"No," she says finally. "No, children, I'm staying."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I have to apologize for another short chapter. I always find decent stopping points and once I'm attached to them, I realize the chapter is super short. Hopefully I won't keep you all waiting for too long. Also, for those of you reading The Prep, no, we have not abandoned ship. We're both super busy, but we'll be getting a new chapter out very shortly!

**Chapter 6**

**Summer, 1814**

As the season changes, Callie's stomach grows and with it, her excitement for the baby's arrival in about two months. Her relationship with Ari is still strained, but far less awkward than before Ari tried to leave. They are civil with each other and even joke from time to time. Slowly, but surely, they are becoming the fast friends they were from the start. Of course, they simply do not talk about that night. They also do not see the longing looks each woman gives the other.

Nevertheless, the warm weather breathes new life into the Sloan estate. Literally. Callie's father has decided to visit for Henry's fourth birthday. As Henry is Callie's only boy, and Carlos and his wife bore no sons, Henry is the heir to the Torres and Sloan estates, so naturally he is Carlos's favorite, and he has no qualms about showing that.

Callie becomes uncharacteristically nervous since receiving the letter. If she's not trying to make the house look perfect, two weeks in advance, she is snapping at the children or Arianna. It is, quite frankly, hell, and Carlos Torres has not even stepped foot inside the manor. Arianna tries many times to talk to Callie, but the frenzied brunette never wants anything to do with it, either changing the subject or griping about how much has to be done before her father arrives.

So, their kiss and not-yet-admitted-to attraction goes entirely unresolved.

Carlos arrives one hot afternoon in late June. The children are sitting under a large horse chestnut tree, lounging in the summer heat as they take turns reading passages from a book. Charlotte and Henry struggle with their passages sometimes, which frustrates Sofia to no end. At this particular moment, Sofia rolls her eyes and slumps back against the tree trunk.

"Sofia Sloan, sit up straight." Sofia jumps at the familiar accented voice, immediately assuming perfect posture. The other two children are off the ground, running to their grandfather with affectionate cries of "Abuelo!", one of the few Spanish words they know.

"No running, children!" Carlos says sternly, though his smile and slight laugh as he picks them each up to kiss them, belies his statement.

Arianna stands as well and, with Sofia, walks towards the older man. Extending her hand to Carlos, she gives a slight curtsy as Carlos takes her proffered hand and kisses it gently.

"You must be Mr. Torres. I'm Arianna Robbins, the children's governess."

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Robbins," Carlos says, before picking up his trunk.

He heads toward the house, before turning once more to face Arianna. "Don't you think you are a bit old to be a governess?"

Arianna gives him a tight smile. "No, sir."

He nods and continues to walk up the steps to the house. "You don't want a family of your own?"

"No, sir."

Before Carlos can ask another question, Callie appears in the doorway. "Stop it, Father. This isn't the Spanish inquisition."

"Ah, Calliope. You look lovely, mi amor."

"Thank you," Callie beams as Carlos envelops her in a warm hug, affectionately placing a hand on the swell of her pregnant belly.

"I trust that you and the little one are in good health."

"Very," Callie replies. "Arianna has made sure of it."

"I wasn't aware that kind of help was under the auspices of a governess," Carlos says, glancing at Arianna.

"She's very obliging," Callie says, sending a shy smile in Ari's direction. She has a fleeting hope that her smile will be somewhat of a peace offering for being so harried and rude over the past few weeks.

"Well, then, let's go in, shall we?" Carlos asks rhetorically. "It's sweltering out here."

"Yes, yes, of course." Callie moves out of the doorway and everyone files in.

Once inside, Carlos immediately pulls out presents for the children and the rush to him excitedly. Callie pulls Arianna by her elbow into the next room.

"I'm sorry about my father. He's not always…accommodating. I hope he didn't offend you."

"No, no, it's okay. I'm used to that sort of questioning."

"Okay, but –"

"No buts. It's fine. I was wondering, though, if you'd like me to make myself scarce this week, so you can have family time with the children and your father."

"No, that won't be necessary," Callie replies quickly. "I kind of feel…"

"Feel what?"

"It's silly."

"You can tell me, Calliope."

"I just…I feel like you're sort of a part of this family."

"Really?"

"Really," Callie confirms with a swift nod of her head. When she hears the children calling for her to see their new presents, she heads to the door. She stops just before exiting and turns to the blonde with a smile on her face.

"Thank you, Calliope."

**o0o0o**

Callie's back is perfectly straight as her fingers glide effortlessly over the piano keys. Henry bounces happily on his grandfather's knee. Charlotte sits next to Arianna on the setee, and Sofia sits on the ground near Callie's piano bench, her legs folded underneath her.

When Callie finishes, her audience applauds. Carlos claps Henry's hands together, still bouncing the toddler on his knee.

"That was beautiful, Calliope," Carlos gushes. "Do you play, Miss Robbins?"

"Yes, sir."

"She plays wonderfully, Father," Callie boasts.

"Not as well as my Calliope, I'm sure," Carlos says.

"Father…" Callie starts.

"No, it's true, Calliope. You're an amazing pianist," Arianna concedes.

"Well, anyway, happy birthday, Henry!" The others chorus their "happy birthdays" after Callie, and the boy leans happily back into his grandfather's embrace.

"Thank you," he says with a yawn.

"Oh, you must be worn out after so much celebration!" Carlos says adoringly.

"I'll take him to bed," Arianna offers.

"Why don't you take all of them?" Carlos asks. Before Sofia can protest, Carlos speaks again, "Maybe you can stay up later tomorrow, Sofia. But tonight, I'd like to speak to your mother alone."

After kissing their mother and grandfather, the girls wait patiently for Ari at the door. Ari scoops Henry out of his grandfather's lap and he willingly snuggles into the blonde, wrapping his chubby arms around her neck.

"I love you, Mama," he mumbles.

"Henry! Miss Robbins is not your mother," Sofia chides, while Charlotte tries in vain to stop her giggles.

Arianna's face flushes a deep red. "I'm sure he was talking about Callie, girls."

"No, you," Henry mumbles again.

"Okay, then! You must be getting delusional. It's definitely time for bed," Arianna says with a breathless laugh. She rushes out of the room before Henry has the chance to reinforce his belief.

When the children and Arianna are safely out of earshot, Carlos pats the seat next to him. "Come sit with me, mi amor."

"Father, Henry didn't mean…"

"Henry is not to blame here." Little Henry, heir to the Torres fortune, can do nothing wrong in his grandfather's eyes. "He is clearly besotted with your new governess, and while it's good that he has another adult in his life, I think that she is too close to the children."

"She's their governess, Father. That's her job: to teach and look after the children."

"She's your age, Calliope. Why does she not want to marry and have her own family?"

Ignoring her father's question, Callie replies, "She's good with them, and she's my friend."

Carlos sighs and mulls over his next statement. He places a hand on his daughter's wrist and soothingly strokes his thumb over her hand.

"M'ija, I believe that woman has…unnatural tendencies."

"_Arianna Robbins_ has a name and is perfectly normal."

"She has obviously blinded you, too," Carlos says.

Callie moves her hand from under her father's and places it in her lap.

"I am not blind."

"So you do see the way she looks at you? Calliope, it's the way I look at your mother, my wife. It is not natural for a woman to look at another woman that way."

Callie is silent. Hearing her own thoughts being spoken back to her jars her into reality and she knows that what her father is saying is true.

"I know," she whispers.

"I think you need to fire her, Calliope. You can't have that kind of influence around the children. Look at Henry. He thinks he has two mothers!"

Callie shakes her head and blinks several times, trying to fight back the tears that have formed. "No, he was just tired. I don't want to fire her. She's really good at her job. I can't take care of the children on my own."

"You are lonely, Calliope. You miss your husband and you crave the attention of another adult. That is natural. That other adult being another woman is not. You need to remove that woman and her unnatural tendencies from this house and from your life," Carlos says with finality.

Though his voice is low, his words are said with such power that Callie starts to shake, the weight of this decision weighing heavily on her. Out of the corner of her eye, Callie swears she catches a glimpse of light blue fabric, the unmistakable blue of Arianna's dress, retreating from the doorway.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"_You are lonely, Calliope. You miss your husband and you crave the attention of another adult. That is natural. That other adult being another woman is not. You need to remove that woman and her unnatural tendencies from this house and from your life," Carlos says with finality._

_Though his voice is low, his words are said with such power that Callie starts to shake, the weight of this decision weighing heavily on her. Out of the corner of her eye, Callie swears she catches a glimpse of light blue fabric, the unmistakable blue of Arianna's dress, retreating from the doorway._

"Arianna!" Callie calls as she jumps from the settee and rushes down the hallway after the blonde. "Arianna, wait!"

Ari slips out the side door and into the cool night air, Callie hot on her heels. "Would you stop and let me talk to you?"

"Why, so I can be further humiliated?" Ari says, before spinning on her heels and stalking off into the gardens once more.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know!" the blonde calls back without turning.

"You're going to leave again, aren't you?"

This stops Arianna immediately. She turns around slowly, her menacing glare forcing Callie to take a step backwards.

"I never left the first time, because you asked me to stay, though for the life of me, I don't know why!" Ari shouts. "Look, I just need time to be alone to figure this out," she continues more softly.

"No. No, you are not walking away from me. We need to talk about this. We haven't even talked about everything else!"

"And whose fault is that?"

"Both of ours!"

Ari makes a move to turn around, but Callie, increasingly frustrated with their inability to communicate, lunges forward and catches her elbow.

"Let. Me. Go!" Ari shouts, futilely attempting to twist and squirm and wriggle her arm from Callie's grasp.

"No. And as you know, I am mere weeks from giving birth, so this much physical exertion is not good for me. So you are going to stop squirming and listen to me."

At the mention of Callie's and the baby's health, Ari stills and waits impatiently for Callie to say something. The brunette does not move her hands from Ari's forearms, but loosens her grip slightly.

"I don't want to let you go," Callie starts softly.

"But you agree with your father," Ari cuts in bitterly. "This is how it always is for me. This is why I'm just drifting from place to place, home to home. No one understands."

"Stop. I never said I agreed with him."

"I heard you!"

"You heard incorrectly, then, because I said nothing when he ordered me to rid my house of your presence. I refuse to do that," Callie states firmly. "You're not a bad influence. The children love you. And I…I appreciate everything you do around here," she finishes lamely, still unsure of her own feelings.

"You think my feelings toward women are unnatural."

Callie gasps. Of course she has known about Ari's disposition in general terms, but neither has said anything about it so directly and specifically until this moment. She drops her hands from Ari's arms and they swing limply at her sides.

"I…I don't know what to think. This is new for me. I've never met anyone like you before. That doesn't mean I agree with my father."

"And it's just _my_ feelings that are new for you?"

Callie says nothing, but her quick inhalation, flared nostrils, and wide eyes say more than any words ever could.

Ari steps ever so slightly forward, invading the brunette's personal space, and places a gentle hand over Callie's heart. "Then why is your heart beating so fast?"

"It's a bit cold?" Callie's questioning tone makes Ari smile ever so slightly.

Ari leans into Callie, pressing harder against her chest and snaking her other hand around the taller woman's neck. "You don't feel what I feel?"

"I…I don't know," Callie answers honestly. Callie pulls back from Ari's grasp and instantly feels a loss from the lack of warmth emanating from the blonde's body. "I do know that I want you to stick around long enough for me to figure it out. I know it's unfair to you, and I'm sorry, but please stay? If not for me, then for the children."

"I never said I was going anywhere, Calliope, but what are you going to do about your father? I think he'd prefer to see me dead than anywhere near your children again."

Callie's eyes darken when she thinks about the furious and intolerant man sitting in her parlor. "I'm going to ask him to leave."

"Really?"

"He has no right to come into my home and tell me how to raise my children, regardless of his feelings toward you. The children need to see their abuelo, but not like this, and not when he insists on undermining my authority.

"I think I need to talk to him alone, though," Callie continues.

"Absolutely, I understand. I will head straight to my bedroom when we go back in," Ari replies, already starting to walk towards the door.

"But we'll talk," Callie says, following her. "I promise we will talk as soon as he is gone."

"Thank you."

**o0o0o**

"You were gone a long time," Carlos states with as much disdain as he can muster.

"Well, as I'm sure you're aware, there was a lot of damage to repair," Callie says coldly.

"And I assume Miss Robbins went to her room to pack her things?" Carlos stands and crosses his arms to match his daughter's stance.

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"I mean that Arianna Robbins will continue to be my children's governess and I would like you to pack your things and leave first thing tomorrow morning before the children have awoken."

Carlos's mouth drops open, unable to fathom his daughter standing up to him for the first time in her life. "She is a disease, Calliope, and she has poisoned you." His voice is slow, cold, calculated.

"She is the best thing that has every happened to me."

"You are disgracing the name of Marcus Sloan, the most dignified man I've had the pleasure to meet."

Callie scoffs. "Do you know how many women he slept with while we were married? I'm sure these three children are not his only ones!" Callie whispers harshly so that the aforementioned children would not wake and hear her.

"Do _not_ disrespect the dead like that, Calliope!"

"I loved Mark, Father. He was my closest friend and a great father, but I will tell the truth. _You_ are the one poisoning this household right now, _not_ Arianna. We are finished."

Callie spins on her heels and retreats quickly to her bedroom so that her father does not see the tears slipping down her cheeks.

**o0o0o**

Carlos obeys Callie and the brunette finds her father standing in the foyer long before anyone else has awoken.

"I do love you, Father," she says sincerely. "But I just cannot have you in my house right now."

"You will regret this, Calliope. God will punish you for your transgressions, and when He does, you will regret your actions."

With that, Carlos storms out and down the path into a waiting carriage.

Arianna and the children awake about an hour later. The children are, of course, saddened to see that their beloved abuelo had to leave early for business, but they are used to it. Carlos Torres is a renowned business man and he is often called away. They are sure he will come back to visit when he can.

Arianna gets the children settled working on their penmanship, before slipping out of the room to speak to Callie.

"I can't believe he really left," Arianna states, by way of conversation starter.

"Not now, Arianna," Callie replies tersely.

"Are you all right?"

"I will be."

"We'll talk later?" Ari presses.

"We will talk later. I just can't right now. After the children go to bed, we will talk. I promise I will listen, but you have to promise to understand how hard this is for me."

"I promise, Calliope." Arianna places a gentle hand on the crook of Callie's elbow and gives her a dimpled smile.

**o0o0o**

When Callie is not waiting for Arianna in the parlor like she promised after the children were put to bed, the blonde assumes the worst. She assumes that Callie is closing down and reestablishing her walls and refusing to speak to her.

Rushing to the master bedroom, Arianna knocks hastily on her door.

"Calliope, open this door right now. You cannot run from this. I deserve at least one conversation. Callie!"

Ari pauses long enough to hear a whimpered "Arianna" from the other side of the door. She opens the door quickly to find Callie sitting at the foot of her bed, tears streaking her ashen cheeks.

"Calliope?"

Callie doesn't answer so she rushes to the brunette's side.

"Calliope," she breathes. "What's wrong?"

Callie shakes her head, a strangled sob emanating from the back of her throat.

"Speak to me, Calliope," Ari pleads. She strokes Callie's shoulder soothingly and the brunette momentarily leans into the touch.

"It's the baby," Callie whispers finally. "It has stopped moving."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"_Calliope," she breathes. "What's wrong?"_

_Callie shakes her head, a strangled sob emanating from the back of her throat._

"_Speak to me, Calliope," Ari pleads. She strokes Callie's shoulder soothingly and the brunette momentarily leans into the touch._

"_It's the baby," Callie whispers finally. "It has stopped moving."_

"When? Callie, maybe it's just sleeping."

"The baby is _not_ just sleeping, Arianna," Callie says, her voice becoming more and more frenzied. "I can tell. It's not okay. What do I do?" Her breathing becomes shallower as the pitch of her voice climbs. "Arianna, what do I do? I can't…I can't…" Her high-pitched voice breaks, and she is left heaving and sobbing Ari's arms.

Seconds later, Sofia is in the doorway, having been awoken by the sound of her inconsolable mother.

"Oh, Sofia, thank goodness!" Ari whispers frenziedly. Turning towards Callie, she murmurs, "I'll be right back," before meeting Sofia at the door.

"Is she all right?" Sofia's eyes are wide with fear. She has never seen her mother be anything other than poised and collected, even when Mark died.

"She will be, Sofia, I promise," Ari whispers back. "But I need you to do me a big favor, okay? Do you remember where Dr. Cooper lives?"

Sofia nods, while biting on her bottom lip.

"I need you to run as fast as you possibly can to his house and make him come back here."

Sofia gasps, tears forming along her bottom lid. By this point, both Charlotte and Henry are awake and wondering what the commotion is all about. Arianna kneels to Sofia's level and places her hands gently on the girl's forearms.

"I know it's late and it's dark, Sofia, but I need to stay with your mother. So please, please be the brave girl I know you are. Please?" Ari pleads.

Sofia nods swiftly and blinks back her tears, before racing swiftly out the front door.

"I could go with her," Charlotte suggests suddenly, wanting to be as brave as her older sister.

Ari gives her a dimpled smile. "But I have a special job just for you, Lottie." The girl's eyes brighten slightly, pleased she can have grown-up responsibilities. "I need you to take Henry to the parlor and play with the toys your abuelo gave you the other day."

"But that's for special occasions. Is this a special occasion?" she asks, stumbling slightly over the big words.

"Sort of," Ari starts. Just then Callie releases a plaintive moan.

"What's wrong with Mother?" Henry asks, trying to peer over Arianna's shoulder.

"She'll be all right, Henry. Now, please go with your sister," Ari says. Her patience begins to run thin as Callie's moaning becomes louder. Luckily the two younger children decide to obey. Charlotte takes Henry's hand and begrudgingly leads him towards the parlor.

Ari rushes back to Callie and slides her arm around her shoulder. She places her other hand tentatively across Callie's belly and creates soothing patterns with her index finger. Callie turns slightly into the blonde and reaches both of her hands up to rest on Arianna's torso, digging her fingernails into the coarse material of Ari's dress.

"Sofia's gone to collect Dr. Cooper. It'll be all right, Calliope. It will be all right," Arianna whispers, placing a kiss against Callie's temple.

They stay in this awkward embrace for half an hour until Sofia comes rushing into the bedroom, Dr. Cooper hot on her heels.

"I'm right here, Mrs. Torres. You'll be all right." Turning to Arianna, he requests, "Please help me get her on the bed, so I can take a proper look."

The two of them awkwardly help Callie to her feet and on to the bed, where Dr. Cooper feels around her pregnant stomach.

"It's awfully distended," he says quietly to Arianna, and she nods, her fears confirmed.

He reaches down for his briefcase and takes a small tubular funnel out of his bag. Placing the big end on Callie's stomach, he puts the smaller end in his ear.

The room is silent for several long moments as Dr. Cooper moves the device to different locations of Callie's stomach, his face becoming more downtrodden with each silence.

"I'm afraid, Mrs. Torres, that I don't hear a fetal heartbeat." Callie whimpers, but waits for him to continue. "It could just be that the baby is turned in such a way that I can't hear it, but if it hasn't been kicking, I'm not sure there's much hope," he finishes dejectedly.

When Callie releases a sorrowful wail, Arianna turns to the young girl quietly crying in the corner of the room. "Sofia, can you please go get your brother and sister and take them to bed?"

"No! I want to stay here. She needs me."

"Sofia, do as you are told." Unused to Arianna's stern voice, Sofia calmly backs out of the room to find Charlotte and Henry.

"Doctor, is there anything we can do?" Arianna asks, unconsciously stroking a hand through Callie's sweat-streaked hair.

"I'm afraid not. Usually these types of things run their courses naturally. If it is a stillborn, as I am predicting, she will go into labor in approximately a fortnight, at which point you should call for me, and I will assist in the delivery."

"St-stillborn?" Callie stutters out.

"I'm sorry," Dr. Cooper says lamely. "These things just happen sometimes. There's nothing that can be done."

"I want you to leave," Callie says through clenched teeth.

Dr. Cooper opens his mouth to say something, but Callie cuts him off with a low, menacing growl. "You will leave my house this instant."

"I think it would be better if you left now, Dr. Cooper. Thank you so much for coming over at this late hour," Arianna says gently with a tight smile.

"I can show myself out," he says, before slipping out of Callie's bedroom and out the front door.

"You, too." Callie's voice is hollow as she processes the newly received information.

When Arianna makes no move to leave, Callie rolls her head to the side. "Are you deaf?"

"I'm not leaving you like this." Arianna crosses her arms to make her point.

"My father was right," Callie whispers.

"I'm sorry?"

"My father was right. God is punishing me. God is punishing me for allowing someone like you in my house. And He is punishing me for my sinful thoughts." Callie's cold and calculated tone cuts through the blonde like ice and Arianna wishes Callie were screaming at her instead.

"No, Calliope, no. God is not punishing you. You heard Dr. Cooper. These things just happen, and it is no one's fault."

"I had three perfectly healthy children with no complications whatsoever, and then you come along with your _unnatural tendencies_ and all of a sudden my baby is dead! That is not mere coincidence!" Now Callie is shouting and Arianna decides that it is no better.

The room falls silent, Callie's words weighing heavily on both of them.

"You did this to me," Callie says resolutely, despondently. "You and your sins did this to me."

Arianna wants to flee. Her instinct is to run as fast as she can with no destination in mind. She needs to get out. But she doesn't run. She stands motionlessly attached to the floor. She feels as though her own breath is suffocating her. She keeps breathing deeply but she cannot get enough oxygen to her lungs. The walls seem to be closing in on her as she processes Callie's words. She doesn't run. Instead, she takes four shaky steps to the bed and sits on the edge.

Callie doesn't move. It's as if she is completely blind to Arianna's presence. She stares straight ahead at the ceiling. She doesn't move when Arianna sits back and leans against the headboard. She lets the blonde pull her limp body into her soft arms without any resistance. She is far too weak to fight.

As soon as Callie's head rests against Arianna's bosom, the tears come. She clutches at the fabric of Arianna's dress, needing to hold on to anything.

"You did this," Callie repeats. Arianna just pulls her in closer, stroking her thumb over the brunette's shoulder blade.

"You did this to me!" Callie raises her voice through her tears and her words fade into a sob. She tightens her grip on Arianna's clothing, wanting Ari to experience even a fraction of the pain she feels.

Callie repeats this phrase like a mantra as she cries. Eventually her tears abate and her grip loosens as she succumbs to her exhaustion, and she falls asleep against Arianna's chest. Arianna just sits silently, her hold on Callie never weakening and her thumb never stilling.

**o0o0o**

Callie doesn't apologize, and Arianna doesn't ask her to. In fact, Callie doesn't do much of anything over the next two weeks. While she lies despondently in bed, Arianna takes care of the household and the children and becomes an expert at dodging questions about Callie's wellbeing.

Callie never verbally requests that Arianna stay with her at night, but every night, after Ari has put the children to bed, Callie folds back the covers on the other side of the bed, an implicit request. Every night, Arianna changes into her nightgown, brings Callie a cup of chamomile tea, slips under the covers, and holds her until she falls asleep. No questions are asked and no explanations are given.

As Dr. Cooper predicted, Callie goes into labor almost two weeks after that fateful night. As soon as Callie's first contraction hits, Arianna sends Sofia to collect Dr. Cooper once again. He comes with a midwife, Alice Clark, and the four adults wait in silence as the labor process progresses. When Callie's water breaks, she hates herself for feeling even an ounce of hope that maybe, just maybe, all is not lost. Excepting the lack of fetal movement, it feels just like her other deliveries, so, despite her better judgment, she cries out in joy when she hears the tell-tale pop and feels the warm liquid pool below her.

Eight arduous hours later, Callie is fully dilated and Alice exclaims that the baby is crowning. At this proclamation, Dr. Cooper and Alice take up residence at the foot of Callie's bed, while Arianna perches on the side with a cold, moist towel, ready to support Callie with whatever she needs.

"Okay, Mrs. Torres, when your next contraction starts, push with all of your might," Dr. Cooper requests and Callie nods dutifully. A minute later, the contraction hits, and Callie grasps at the sheets below her, teeth clenched and toes curling into the mattress.

"Well done," Alice praises. "We can see a bit more of the head. Just keep pushing when you feel the urge."

Callie still feels hopeful as the next few contractions rip through her body. She pushes with all of her being. When Alice declares that the baby's head is almost the whole way out, Callie props herself up on her elbows to get a better look. She watches Alice and Dr. Cooper share worried looks, before Dr. Cooper meets Callie's gaze and shakes his head apologetically.

Callie's elbows shake and give out completely as she releases a sharp wail, crushing disappointment coursing through her.

"Mrs. Torres, I'm sorry, but we still need you to push."

Callie lies there numbly as her contractions continue to come. Arianna takes her hand gently.

"Calliope, I know this is hard, but you have to push."

"Why?" Callie cries. "What's the point?"

"We're sorry," Alice says quietly, "but because the baby isn't doing any of the work, we're going to need you to work extra hard."

"I'm right here, Calliope. When the next contraction comes, squeeze my hand as tightly as you can, all right?"

Callie sighs and leans her head back into the pillows. She does as she is told and when her next contraction hits, she grips Arianna's hand and pushes as hard as she can, needing the ordeal to be over as quickly as possible.

Another half hour later and the ordeal _is_ over, or at least the comparatively easy, physical part is over. Alice cuts the umbilical cord and gently runs a towel over the lifeless baby's body.

"Would you like to hold the baby?" she asks. "In my experience, it can help with the coping – "

"Take it away," Callie interrupts forcefully.

"Calliope…" Arianna chastises gently.

"No, Arianna, do not Calliope me. That baby is dead, and my holding it and crying over its body will not bring it back to life, so no, I do not want to hold it. Please, take it away."

Alice nods and begins to walk out of the room with the baby. Arianna quickly stops her at the door and speaks to her in hushed tones. "I think when she comes around she'll want to have a burial for him."

"Absolutely. I'll make the arrangements."

Dr. Cooper gives Callie some herbal treatments to alleviate the pain and attempt to stave off an infection, and he and Alice leave.

That night, Arianna draws Callie a warm bath. There is nothing sexual about the way Arianna undresses the brunette, but there is an intimacy and a strange familiarity that does not go unnoticed by either of them. Once Callie is in the bath, Arianna gives her some privacy and goes about changing Callie's sheets and attempting to rid the bedroom of any traces of the delivery.

When Callie is finished and settled back into her clean bed, Arianna once again takes Callie's numb body into her arms and soothes the listless woman into a relatively restful sleep.

**o0o0o**

Arianna holds a small family burial in the gardens of the Sloan estate, which Callie refuses to attend. Ari does a good job of remaining emotionless as she digs a small hole and gently lays the tiny coffin in it. She and the children each take a handful of dirt and throw it on top of the wooden box.

When Charlotte throws her handful of soil, she whispers, "Say hello to Father for us, little Brother."

Arianna can hold out no longer. Tears begin to streak down her face as she shovels the rest of the dirt on top of the coffin. Henry places a tiny white wooden cross at the head of the grave, and the four of them huddle together as Arianna says a short prayer, mourning the loss of a family member they were never able to know.

**o0o0o**

**A/N: **I know many of you hate me right now, so I am going to preemptively defend myself. I guarantee you that there is a light at the end of the (actually rather short) tunnel. Stillbirth was a relatively big problem at this period in time, due to the lack of proper medicine and knowledge of prenatal care. It seems harsh, and I won't deny that it is, but I will say that it is not unrealistic for this to happen. I hope you guys can understand why I made this choice for this fic and can bear with me, because as I've said, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I can promise you they will make it through this rough time intact.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Thank you so, SO much for the overwhelmingly positive reviews from last chapter. I'm so glad you guys are sticking with this story despite the divergence into angst. Hopefully this chapter will help everyone to breathe a little easier.

**A/N2:** The rating has gone up to T. I doubt I will move it higher than that, as I won't be writing graphic sex scenes in this story. That said, if anyone is offended by how scenes of that nature are written and thinks the rating should be higher, please let me know, and I apologize in advance if that is the case.

**Chapter 9**

Like she does every other night, Arianna slips under the covers and waits for Callie to snuggle against her. Surprised when Callie doesn't immediately press her body against hers, Arianna turns to face the brunette, who seems completely lost in her own thoughts. Arianna puts a gentle hand on the crook of Callie's elbow. Finally Callie turns to look at Arianna and even braves a small smile.

"What was it?" she asks.

Arianna furrows her brow. "What do you mean?"

"Was it a boy or a girl?"

"Oh!" Arianna exclaims in understanding. Then softer, "he was a little boy."

"A boy," Callie breathes. She turns fully and reaches out to wrap her arm around Arianna's waist. "His name is Marcus Timothy Sloan."

Arianna inhales sharply. "A-after…?"

"Our fallen soldiers."

There are tears in both of their eyes as they stare at each other, Arianna's hand grazing over the soft curve of Callie's hip.

"Arianna," Callie whispers. "Kiss me."

"Calliope…"

"Touch me. Kiss me," she repeats, more fervently. "I just…I need to feel you. Please."

Tears are streaming down Callie's face at this point, and Arianna doesn't think she has it in her to refuse. Putting aside her own concerns, she runs her hand up Callie's torso, settling on her ribcage. Callie's eyes flutter shut in anticipation, but Arianna still hesitates.

"Calliope, are you sure you want this?"

Callie opens her eyes once more to see Arianna's blue ones, glistening with unshed tears, staring back.

"Yes, I'm sure."

To prove that she is, in fact, sure, Callie closes the gap between them and gently touches her lips to the blonde's. The hand resting on Arianna's stomach travels up her arm to grasp at her face, pulling them in closer. Ari snakes her tongue out, teasing Callie's bottom lip. The brunette grants it entrance with a whimper.

Arianna gently rolls Callie onto her back, their lips never parting. Her left hand creeps slowly over Callie's soft nightgown and the taller woman shivers under her touch. Arianna bunches the material so that it rests over her knee and traces her finger over Callie's bare skin. She slides her hand over Callie's twitching inner thigh until she reaches her heated juncture.

Callie's breath hitches in her throat and she instinctively wraps her arms around Arianna to prevent her from pulling away. One hand claws into Arianna's clothed back, while the other grasps at her soft, blonde hair.

"Arianna," she whispers. "Please touch me."

Arianna complies and Callie whimpers softly, leaning her head back into the pillow and slamming her eyes shut. The blonde continues to stroke and explore, easily establishing a rhythm. Callie rocks her hips involuntarily in time. Her hands roam aimlessly over Arianna's nightgown, searching for something, anything to hold on to. Minutes later, Callie's breathing becomes shallower and her back arches, her muscles tensing under Arianna's body as waves of intense pleasure flood through her.

Callie's eyes are still tightly shut when Arianna rolls off of her. A few tears escape and roll down the sides of her face. Arianna gently wipes them away and kisses her temple, before gathering the brunette into her arms until they both fall asleep.

**o0o0o**

Arianna wakes the next morning to the feeling of Callie lightly tracing her index finger over her clavicle. The brunette is humming a simple song while gazing out the window, mindlessly letting her fingers wander.

"Good morning," Arianna mumbles, her voice gravelly with sleep.

Shocked out of her reverie, Callie whips her head to face Arianna and gives her a small smile. She pecks her lightly on the lips and pulls back with a shy "good morning".

"Callie…

"No, wait. I need to say something first."

Arianna nods in compliance.

"I'm…um…I'm really sorry for the way I've acted the last few weeks."

"You lost your baby, Calliope; it's perfectly understandable."

"No, no. Grieving is one thing, lashing out and…blaming you is another. I can't believe you've stayed."

"I gave you my word that I would stay and I don't intend to break my promise, but…"

"But you're miserable here, right?" Callie cuts in, her insecurities making themselves known.

Arianna smiles at Callie's nerves and tucks a lock of dark hair behind her ear. "I never said that."

"What were you about to say, then?"

"I was about to say that last night cannot happen again. I got lost in my need to comfort you and we crossed a line."

Callie swallows and blinks back renewed tears, but stays silent, knowing Arianna isn't finished.

"Last night cannot happen again, unless you actually want us to be together. Actually, totally, 100% together. No hiding it from the children. I'm sorry if that's…"

"No, I understand. I haven't exactly been fair to you and with everything that's happened with the baby, I know we had to table our discussion. It's the least I could do, but I'm not ready yet."

"I know."

"But even though I'm not ready, your mere presence makes my life so much better. It's been a struggle just to open my eyes every morning and to know that it wasn't just a terrible dream. But then, once I do open my eyes, I see you, and you give me hope that one day I will be able to move on and one day I will be ready."

"And until that day, I will be waiting."

**o0o0o**

After their discussion, the dark cloud over the Sloan Estate isn't exactly lifted, but a few brave rays of sunshine peak through holes in the cloud, serving as glimmers of hope that everyone inside the estate will make it through.

Callie starts eating regular meals with Ari and the children, who are all too delighted to see their mother outside of her bedroom. She even begins to include Marcus Timothy in their nightly family prayers.

Arianna continues to sleep in the master bedroom, but their touching is strictly platonic and only for the purpose of comfort, even if both want more at times. Ari is determined to keep her guard up, because she knows that if their relationship is formed on the basis of grief and loss and insecurity, it will only end up hurting both of them and maybe even the children.

They are up speaking in hushed tones one night when a crash of thunder bellows, echoing off the manor walls, followed by a streak of lightening. All of a sudden, the sky figuratively opens and rain comes pouring down, beating incessantly against the windows and roof. Callie chuckles softly when Arianna jumps at the sudden noise and pulls her closer.

Not a minute later, Charlotte appears in the doorway, rubbing her eyes and sniffling slightly.

"What's wrong, Charlotte?" Callie asks, peering over Arianna's shoulder.

"Scared," she sniffs.

"Oh, Lottie, it's just a thunderstorm. Want to come up here with us?"

The young girl nods before scrambling up on the bed and wedging herself in the space the two women created in between their bodies. She rests her head against Callie's bosom and shakes when yet another loud clap of thunder pierces through the rain. Arianna strokes her hair, while Callie whispers words of encouragement. When her body finally starts trembling, Charlotte takes in her surroundings and turns to Ari. She peers at her curiously before speaking.

"Are you scared, too?"

"No," Ari answers with a smile.

"Then why are you here…in bed with Mother?"

"Oh. Oh! Well I, uh, _was_ scared, but I'm not anymore."

"Because Mother makes you not scared," Charlotte says matter-of-factly.

"Exactly."

Before anymore awkwardness can ensue, Sofia and Henry also appear in the doorway, the boy clutching his sister's hand with white knuckles.

"Sofia, I'm surprised to see you in here, too," Arianna mocks.

"Oh, I'm not scared," the eldest replies. "But Henry needed someone to walk him down the hallway."

"Right," Callie concedes with a small laugh. "Well, you two climb up, too."

The two children hurry to the bed and jump on, crowding the usually large King-sized bed and climbing under the covers between Callie and Arianna.

"Well, what now?" Arianna laughs.

Sofia, Henry, and their mother shrug, but Charlotte's eyes light up with an idea. "Tell us a story!"

"Well, okay then," Ari starts. "Once upon a time there were three wonderful children, one boy and two girls."

"It's us!" Henry shouts gleefully in all his infinite wisdom.

"Not a story about us," Sofia says with a scrunched nose.

"I have a better idea!" Callie says enthusiastically. She sits up against the headboard and pulls Henry into her lap. "So, I happen to really like thunderstorms."

"You do?" Charlotte asks with wide eyes.

"I _love_ them. You know why?"

All three children shake their heads, while Arianna watches Callie with a combination of interest and amusement.

"All of that rain nourishes the earth so that the trees and the flowers and the grass can grow strong and tall. When the earth gets too dry, it can't produce the green grass and pretty flowers we have in the gardens. You wouldn't want to play in yucky brown grass, would you?"

They shake their head in disgust.

"So, what is your idea?" Arianna asks, her curiosity brimming.

"We should go outside." There is a sparkle in Callie's eye that has not been present since before her baby died. The children hesitate, predictably, so Arianna perks up to encourage them, if only to maintain the near joyous sparkle in Callie's eye.

"Now?" Charlotte asks, her bottom lip quivering. As if to prove her point, thunder rumbles loudly overhead.

"Yes, now. I promise you'll be safe with Arianna and me. Come on, this will be fun!"

Callie basically jumps out of bed, Henry bouncing on her hip. Arianna climbs over the edge on the other side of the bed and Charlotte reluctantly follows. Only Sofia remains firmly rooted to her spot, clutching the duvet.

"I thought you weren't scared, Sof?"

"I'm not. This is just silly."

Callie raises an eyebrow. "No, this is mandatory family time. I've decided."

Sofia grumbles, but trudges after the rest of the family. They reach the back door that leads out to the marble veranda, which in turn leads to the extensive gardens. Arianna and Callie take turns lifting up the children so that they can see outside the window. Everyone looks a bit hesitant except Callie, who is almost giddy. She opens the door and they are bombarded with the heady smell of the pouring rain. Grabbing Sofia's and Henry's hands she leads them carefully out on to the patio. Immediately their clothes are soaked through and their sodden hair sticks to their faces as the cool water streams down their faces.

"Ready?" Arianna asks Charlotte. The young girl just scoffs. Ari doesn't really want to go out there either, but she can't resist Callie's glee. She tugs Charlotte's hand and they join the other three on the patio.

Having been outside for a bit longer, Henry and Sofia are getting used to the rain, and they run to Charlotte, stealing her away from Arianna, and drag her off the veranda and on to the soaked gardens. They immediately begin an animated game of tag, their fears long forgotten.

Callie and Arianna watch from the veranda as the children giggle and run and slip in the grass. Callie reaches down and takes Arianna's slippery hand in her own, intertwining their fingers. Her arms outstretched, she leans back and lets the water fall heavily on her face and torso. She breathes in the scent and the warm late-summer air and begins to laugh.

Her laugh is infectious and soon Arianna can't help but laugh with her. The scene is truly absurd. It is goodness knows what time in the night or early morning and here they are laughing and playing in the rain, absolutely ruining their clothing and risking illness.

They laugh and laugh until suddenly Callie pulls Ari into her. With her free hand she wipes away the stringy blonde strands of hair that have adhered themselves to Arianna's face. Arianna's breath hitches when Callie bites her bottom lip, before her tongue follows, licking at the drops of water. Callie leans in ever so slightly and presses her lips firmly against Arianna's. Both of their eyes flutter shut as they enjoy the unique feeling of the rain and each other. Arianna wraps her arm around Callie's neck and deepens their kiss, snaking her tongue out to trace the same path Callie's had moments before. The taller woman allows Arianna entrance and their tongues meet, stroke, massage, suck, until both women pull away, gasping for air.

"I can do this," Callie whispers. When Arianna cocks her head to indicate that she cannot hear her, Callie shouts over the roar of the rain. "I can do this!"

The children, utterly exhausted from their impromptu thunderstorm tag game, trudge up the steps. Callie breaks her Arianna's gaze and pulls all the children to her.

"See, children? There is nothing to be afraid of." She finishes with a pointed glance to Arianna, who immediately understands the true meaning behind her words.

In an amazing presentation of irony, the fearsome thunderstorm, with its howling wind and pelting rain, seems to begin to lift the dark cloud that had taken up residence over the Sloan Estate.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay. I don't have as much access to the internet at the moment.

**Chapter 10**

**Autumn, 1814**

The progression of Callie's grief and recovery is certainly not a linear process. She has days when no one would know she has been through any heartache, days when she wants to be alone and close herself off to the world, and days when she fervently and futilely bargains with God to bring back her son. She has nights when she cries herself to sleep in the comforting arms of her tentative girlfriend and nights when she joyously kisses said girlfriend, and Arianna's embrace becomes less comforting and more sensual, though they are trying to take their burgeoning relationship slowly.

The family walks on eggshells around her, and the mood in the estate is based solely on Callie's. No one is ever sure whether it will be a good day or a bad day, but Arianna and the children relish and live for the good moments.

Luckily for everyone, today is a good day. Callie is whistling in the kitchen while she puts together what is sure to be a delicious meal full of new ingredients she found earlier in the market. Arianna is carefully critiquing the girls' penmanship, while Henry plunks out notes on the piano, thinking himself quite the virtuoso.

Thinking today might be a good day to nag Callie about telling the children, Arianna slips into the kitchen and sidles up next to the humming brunette.

"Hello, pretty lady," Arianna murmurs.

Callie smiles and dips her head down to kiss Arianna gently. "Why hello."

Arianna wraps an arm around the taller woman's waist and kisses her more soundly.

"Ari, the children could see."

"Speaking of which, I was thinking now might be a good time to tell them?" She hates herself a bit for not having a more forceful tone, for not standing up to Callie, but after everything, she doesn't want to push her.

"You don't have to look so worried," Callie chides gently. "I actually think now would be as good a time as any."

"Excellent!" Arianna turns to walk back toward the parlor. Callie quickly wipes her hands on her apron, before grabbing Ari's hand and walking with her into the adjacent room.

"Children," Callie starts, "gather 'round. We have something we'd like to speak to you about."

They do as they are told, forming a semi-circle on the floor, while Callie and Arizona, hands still intertwined, sit on the settee. Sofia looks discerningly at their demeanor and proximity, but the younger two are naively oblivious.

"We have found that…we just…what we wanted to tell you…" Callie starts haltingly, realizing that she actually has absolutely no idea how to explain this to her children.

Arianna raises an eyebrow and looks somewhat amused, but decides to take over. "Do you remember how your mother and father would act sometimes around each other?" she asks.

"They kissed sometimes!" Charlotte replies, ever the romantic.

"And they fought," Sofia adds unhelpfully.

"Right, well, let's go back to the kissing. They kissed because they were in love," Arianna explains, even though it pains her to think about Callie in love with someone else.

"And…and what Miss Robbins is trying to say is that sometimes she and I feel like kissing, because we really fancy each other, the way your father and I did."

Henry giggles at the thought, and Charlotte sighs dreamily.

"That's impossible," Sofia retorts, her arms now folded across her chest defensively.

"Why's that?" Callie asks.

"Because you are both women."

"It's unusual, yes, but not impossible," Ari supplies. "There are women who fall in love with men and women who fall in love with other women."

"So what, mother is a _mélange_ of the two?" Sofia scoffs as haughtily as possible, using her the new French words Miss Robbins has taught her to sound extra precocious. There is something about her French that makes her sound as disgusted as she looks with the concept.

"In a way, yes," Callie agrees with a smile.

Sofia scoffs again and sits back on her heels, crossing her arms once again.

"We thought it was important that you three know about us, but there are people out there who think it's wrong – "

"Because it is wrong," Sofia interrupts under breath.

Arianna continues as if she doesn't hear her. "But we know it's right. So this is something we'd like to keep between the five of us."

Henry and Charlotte nod, but Sofia immediately stands up and stalks off.

"Where are you going?" Callie calls.

"To pack my trunk! I'm going to live with _Abuelo_!"

Arianna makes a move to follow the insolent girl, but Callie puts a hand on her knee. "I need to do this."

Once mother and daughter vacate the room, Charlotte and Henry crawl up onto the settee next to Ari.

"Do you love Mother?" Henry asks.

Arianna starts to answer in the negative, but then she suddenly realizes what that tugging feeling on her heart is, what the fluttering in her stomach is. It's love.

"I do," she answers, surprising herself.

"Were you in love before, like Mother was with Father?" Charlotte asks this time.

Ari shakes her head. "No, it's hard for people like me to find…other people like me," she says with a smile.

"What's it feel like?" Charlotte asks, having now found her way onto Arianna's lap.

"Love?"

"Mmhmm."

"It's…it's unbelievable. It consumes you, and it makes you feel like you're walking on air. And there's this pull on your heart when she walks in the room."

"I can hardly wait," Charlotte says wistfully.

"What about you, Henry? Do you want to be in love?"

The four-year-old looks thoughtful for a moment, before screwing up his nose and furrowing his brow. He shakes his head furiously, eliciting barks of laughter from both Charlotte and Arianna. The blonde scruffs up his hair, before pulling both of them into a tight hug, relieved that in their accepting innocence, Charlotte and Henry are happy for her and their mother.

**o0o0o**

"Sofia, stop it!" Callie calls after her eldest daughter. "Stop it this instant!"

Sofia reluctantly stops and turns to her mother, unused to hearing such a strong tone.

"You are going to come sit with me, and you are going to listen."

Wordlessly, Sofia follows her mother into the master bedroom and seats herself on the edge of the bed. Callie sits next to her. The two are silent for a moment while Callie figures out how best to word what she wants to say.

"What would you do," Callie begins, "if they outlawed brown hair?"

Sofia rolls her eyes. "They obviously would never do that. I can't help having brown hair!"

"Exactly. Just like people can't help who they fall in love with. When you're older, you'll fall in love with someone and you won't be able to stop it even if you know you should."

"So, you're in love with Miss Robbins, then?"

"I think…no, I know I am. I'm in love with Arianna," Callie says, unable to stop the corners of her lips from tugging upwards at the realization.

When Sofia says nothing, Callie pushes on. "So what would you do? Would you shave off your hair to comply with the ridiculous law, or would you just hide it with a hat so that you won't be punished?"

When Sofia touches her hair, Callie knows she picked the right metaphor; her little girl is nothing if not vain. "I suppose I'd wear a hat." She may be young, but Sofia understands that she is not just talking about hair, but implying that she understands Callie and Arianna's predicament.

"And that's what we're trying to do. Do you think you can accept who we are and what we're doing?"

"I think I can try."

**o0o0o**

"I miss Mark," Callie says as she and Arianna prepare themselves for bed.

Frowning, Ari turns and replies, "I know it must be hard to be without your husband, but…"

"I miss him, too, but I meant Mark Jr. I know it seems strange to miss someone I never even knew, but he was a part of me."

"I don't think it's strange, Calliope. I can't begin to understand what you are going through. I am constantly in awe of your strength."

Callie gives her a small smile. "I think he would have been impossibly masculine like his father, but sensitive like Henry. He probably would have begun to pick up your mannerisms." Arianna nods and smiles, but lets Callie continue. "I think he would have grown up to be an honorable man like his namesakes."

"I think so, too," Arianna says, while slipping under the covers and patting the area next to her, gesturing for Callie to do the same. "And I think he would be strong, fiercely protective, and have the world's largest heart, just like his mother."

"You think those things about me?"

"Yes, Calliope, yes!" she says fervently. "In the past few months, you have stood up to your father, tragically lost your son, and opened your heart up to me."

Callie winces when Arianna matter-of-factly points out the loss of her son. It has been getting easier every day and she's begun to talk about him, but hearing the words so bluntly still causes her heart to tighten.

"You are truly the most incredible person I've ever met," Arianna says honestly. "And I thank God every day for sending me away from the convent and into your home."

"I thank Him for that, too," Callie whispers. "I couldn't have gone through this without you."

"You could have. But I'm glad you didn't have to."

Callie leans into Arianna, comforted by her warmth and the sound of her gentle heartbeat. "Do you think that maybe tomorrow we could go to his grave?" Callie requests softly.

"Absolutely."

The following morning, Arianna and Callie go alone to the area of the estate where Marcus Timothy Sloan is buried. Callie lays a lily on the raised patch of land, where grass has begun to grow unevenly. With her left hand firmly ensconced in Arianna's, Callie crosses herself with her right, saying a short prayer for her deceased son.

"He would love you," Callie says when she finishes her prayer. "And…and he's not the only one." She turns to face the blonde squarely, taking Arianna's other hand in hers. "I love you as well," she says, tears brimming in her eyes. Before Ari can answer, Callie slides her hands up Arianna's arms and shoulders and cradles her face in her hands. She leans down to place a tender kiss on the shorter woman's lips. When they pull apart, both women struggle to keep their tears at bay.

"I love you, too, Calliope."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** I feel I should pre-emptively apologize for this chapter. I'm stressed beyond belief right now, but I wanted to get something out, so I churned this out. It's not my best. I'm kind of in an exhausted daze right now, and I'll wake up without even remembering what I wrote. But, I'm not one for making good decisions, so I'm posting it. The next chapter will be better, I promise!

**Chapter 11**

"I won't call you Mother," Sofia states abruptly one day during a private tutoring lesson with Miss Robbins.

"I would never ask you to," Arianna replies in the same tone.

"I've never been married."

"No, you haven't," Arianna agrees.

"And I've never lost a child."

Arianna shakes her head, waiting patiently for Sofia to get to her point.

"So I don't understand what Mother is dealing with, but since I've never been through it, I can't judge her."

"No, you can't."

"And I won't judge you, because you seem to make her happy despite everything."

"You're very wise for your years, you know that?" Arianna asks rhetorically, trying to bite back her smile.

The usually somber and proper little girl finally cracks a smile. "Well, I've had quite a good teacher these past few months."

"Indeed you have!"

The two laugh at Arianna's false ego.

"So, cross stitch?" Arianna asks, trying to get back to their lesson so that proud Sofia would not be embarrassed by her omission.

"Cross stitch," Sofia agrees and promptly picks up her forgotten embroidery.

**o0o0o**

"You'll never guess what Sofia said to me this morning," Arianna states. Having sent the children to play outside in one of the last days of warm weather, Callie and Arianna are washing a set of clothes in a large bucket of soapy water on the veranda.

"And what was that?" Callie asks, far more focused on the way Arianna's hair glistens in the late afternoon sun.

"She approves of us."

"She told you that?"

"Well, she seems to appreciate that I make you happy."

"I appreciate that, too," Callie says earnestly. Not one to dwell on her feelings, especially after everything she has been through, Callie quickly diffuses the serious mood by "accidentally" splashing some water from their bucket into Ari's lap.

"Calliope!" Arianna squeals through her laughter. She retaliates immediately by splashing water in Callie's direction. And of course, Callie splashes right back.

Before it can devolve into a complete water fight, a young boy clears his throat from the gated entrance to the back gardens of the Sloan estate.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, Mrs. Torres, but I have a letter for you."

"Not a worry, James. Come in." She waves the teenager over and accepts the sealed envelope in his hand. Finding a shilling in the pocket she keeps inside her dress, she thanks James and sends him on his way.

"It's from my mother," Callie says, inspecting the envelope. "I'd know her penmanship anywhere."

"I'm sure it's nothing bad, Calliope. Just open it," Arianna urges with a smile.

She watches Callie curiously as the brunette scans quickly through the letter. Callie's face falls with each word she reads.

"Callie, what is it?"

"It's my father. He's sick. And he's coming here."

"Here? To our, _your_, home?"

"Our home," Callie corrects. "And yes, they're both en route here as we speak. She said that she sent this letter just before they left, which means they will be here any day now."

Though Callie's voice is low and calm, her breathing is quickening, showing her panic. Arianna places a hand on her shoulder.

"It will be okay, Calliope. You two may have fought, but he is still your father and he still loves you."

"I don't know, Arianna. I've never treated him like that before. I've never stood up to him."

"He's sick, Callie. He and your mother need your help, so we'll be there for them, okay?"

Callie nods and takes both of Ari's hands in her own. "He may say horridly nasty things to you, especially if his illness begins to addle his mind."

"Will he change your mind?"

"No, never," Callie assures her.

"Then I can handle whatever he says to me, because I know I'll have you by my side."

"You will. I promise you will. You've supported me through…everything recently. The least I could do is support you through my father's inevitable tirade," Callie says sincerely.

"You never know, maybe this time I will charm him," Arianna teasingly suggests.

"If anyone could charm him, it's you."

**o0o0o**

True to the letter, Carlos and Lucia Torres arrive the following week along with a nurse Carlos has hired to take care of him on a permanent basis. The children are beside themselves with excitement that both of their grandparents are coming to stay indefinitely. Having more adults than children in the house always means they get spoiled.

Callie greats her mother with a warm hug and her father with a tentative one. As the children rush to their grandmother, whom they have not seen in years, Callie picks up her parents' trunks.

"I see your governess is still here," Carlos notes sourly.

"Yes, Arianna is still here. She's also standing in the room, so you could address her personally," Callie retorts.

"Hello, Mr. Torres. It's nice to see you again," Arianna tries.

Carlos simply grunts in response, and with the aid of the nurse, walks towards the room he will be staying in indefinitely. Callie follows with some of his things, leaving Ari alone in the room with Lucia and the children. When Lucia spies Arianna standing awkwardly in the corner, fidgeting with her dress to find something to do, she walks over and embraces her warmly.

"You must be Miss Robbins, the children's governess. It's lovely to meet you. Callie has said very nice things about you in her letters."

"She…she writes to you about me?" Arianna stutters.

Lucia laughs. "You're all she ever talks about!" And then softer: "I want to thank you for how much you've helped her through this trying time. I regret not being able to be here myself, but you've done a magnificent job bringing some joy back into her life."

Arianna Robbins is not a woman who is often without words, but she is honestly stunned speechless. She surprises herself by reaching forward and pulling Lucia into a hug.

"Thank you," she whispers. She has no idea what Lucia knows about her or their relationship, but she is grateful for whatever support the older woman will give her.

"You're very welcome, my dear," Lucia chuckles good-naturedly. "Shall we go see what Calliope and Carlos are doing?"

"Of course."

Taking the children with them, Ari and Lucia head down the hallway, where the family (Arianna included at Callie's behest) organizes Carlos and Lucia's room.

When they are finished unpacking the Torres's things, Carlos adjourns to bed, his nurse helping him and applying his herbal treatment.

Since it is a special occasion, the children are allowed to stay up past their bedtime, and they revel in the opportunity to chat with their grandmother. Lucia is equally thrilled. She has Henry in her lap while Charlotte and Sofia curl against either side. Callie and Arianna delight the family with their piano duets.

When Charlotte falls asleep against her grandmother's side and the other two children look just as exhausted, Lucia suggests that it is well past their bedtimes. Arianna scoops Charlotte up, careful not to wake the sleeping girl.

"Thank you so much for welcoming us into your home," Lucia says. "Carlos and I very much appreciate it."

"Oh, Mother, you know it's no trouble. You are always welcome here," Callie replies with wide eyes, wondering why her mother would ever question that.

"Well, I was expressing my gratitude to Miss Robbins, as well."

"Oh…oh! That's not…you know…this is Callie's house. It's her decision," Ari splutters.

"I think we all know that's not true. And I appreciate that you, Arianna, are welcoming of my husband and me."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Well, let me tell you, this chapter would not write itself. Blood out of a freaking stone. I hope it's somewhat enjoyable nevertheless. :-/

**Chapter 12**

Callie slips out of her father's bedroom, having received yet another speech about how inappropriate her new lifestyle is and how the children are being brainwashed.

A tear slides over her cheekbone as she literally runs into her mother.

"Calliope, are you okay, darling?"

"Just a terrible conversation with Father. It's nothing."

"It's obviously not nothing. I don't understand why you two have been fighting so much since we arrived?" Lucia rests her hand on Callie's shoulder and runs her thumb soothingly across the coarse material she finds there.

"I don't think you understand what is going on, Mother."

"I think I might."

"What has Father told you?"

"That he disagrees with the way you are choosing to live your life. M'ija, I don't…"

"Why aren't you more upset, then? You shouldn't agree with this either."

"You want me to be upset with you," Lucia states, dropping her hand from Callie's shoulder.

"No, but I don't think you're really understanding what's going on here."

Her mother gives a knowing smile. "Why don't you explain it?"

"Arianna and I…we're…we're just like Mark and me or you and Father."

"I thought as much."

"And you're just…fine with that?" Callie asks flatly, unable to comprehend her mother's acceptance.

"Calliope, my darling girl, my purpose on this earth is not to judge. That is God's purpose, and when the time comes, he will judge you. You are a beautiful and good person and I think that says more of your character. I will not judge any of His creations."

Callie goes to say something but finds her mother is not finished.

"That said, do I wish it were different? Yes. I do not understand either of your desires, and I don't wish to speak about it further. But I will not judge you."

"Mother…" Callie starts, her voice breaking.

"Calliope, this conversation is over. I like Arianna, I love you, and I love your father. I will not try to change his mind, but I will support you."

"Thank you," Callie whispers.

"Now, why don't we try to find Arianna and those lovely children of yours?"

**o0o0o**

"The children are in town with my mother, and my father is taking his afternoon nap," Callie says in a low voice, as she slides in behind Arianna.

"Callie…" Ari chides. "I'm slicing vegetables. You could have made me drop the knife."

"I have that much effect on you, hmm?" Callie asks while brushing Arianna's hair away from her neck and placing chaste, open-mouthed kisses on the flesh.

"You know the effect you have on me," Ari whispers.

"Come to bed with me."

"Supper won't make itself," Arianna protests.

"We'll have time later. I want you to come with me now," Callie says, her tongue jutting out to swipe the shell of Arianna's ear.

"Okay," she breathes. Arianna places the knife carefully on the counter and leans back into Callie's embrace.

"I knew you'd cave to my every whim," Callie murmurs into Ari's hair.

"You did, did you?"

Arianna turns so that she can kiss Callie, but jolts back almost immediately. Callie peers over her shoulder to see what has frightened her.

"Mr. Torres, sir," Arianna says with a curt nod.

"Miss Robbins," he replies.

"I, um…I have to…pansies. I have to water the pansies."

Before Callie can remind her that they have no pansies and that it is definitely not the season for them, she flits out of the room, a blush creeping over her neck and face.

"Father…" Callie starts.

"It is inappropriate, Calliope. It is inappropriate and unhealthy and…and…and it's an abomination!"

"Father, please," Callie tries.

"But apparently I cannot get through to you. So I will stop lecturing you, but what I will not stand for is this behavior going on in my presence, right under my nose! I had to stand here and watch your disgusting behavior, because the two of you cannot control yourselves! It is disrespectful, and I will not stand to be disrespected!"

Carlos's voice becomes more and more frenzied as he continues his rant and suddenly it becomes too much. He gasps for breath and clutches his stomach, falling back against the chair behind him. Callie hurries to his side, slipping her arm around his shoulders and lowering him gently into the chair.

"You have to be careful, Father," Callie chides softly. "This isn't good for your health."

"Don't you think I know that?" Carlos bites back, his breathing shallow.

Callie walks to the hearth where there is a teapot keeping warm and pours her father a cup of tea. She slides it across the table and Carlos lifts it to his lips, taking a hesitant but appreciated sip.

"Thank you," he says softly.

Callie sits in the chair next to him, playing with a loose thread on her dress.

"She makes me happy, Father," she starts.

"I don't want to talk about that woman anymore, Calliope. As you so astutely noted, it's bad for my health."

"But she's not going anywhere. And neither are you. So you will have to learn to live with it."

"I cannot believe you are disrespecting your father this way, Calliope. You are not the daughter I knew and loved."

"Yes, I am, Father. It's me. I just…I love a woman and that woman, Arianna Robbins, makes me unbelievably happy despite the fact that I lost a child this year. I once thought all there was to love was comfort, but she makes me more than comfortable. She makes me _happy_," Callie says, tears threatening to spill over the bottom lids of her eyes. "And we aren't hurting anyone."

"Except your children," Carlos interrupts.

"Do they seem hurt to you? They are happy and carefree, because they are _children_, and they deserve to have a somewhat normal life, and if it weren't for Arianna, I wouldn't be able to look after them, not after losing my husband and my son."

"I'm finished talking to you about this now, Calliope. Will you send Miss Robbins in?"

"Arianna? You want to speak to Arianna?"

"Yes, Calliope. I want to speak to the woman who has made you like this."

Callie swallows a thick lump in her throat, but acquiesces to his wishes. Predictably, she finds Ari standing just outside the door, listening to their every word.

"I'm sorry," Callie murmurs.

"Don't be. What you said…" Arianna's voice falters and she shakes her head, trying to fight her tears.

Callie leans in swiftly and places a chaste kiss on her lips. "His bark is bigger than his bite," Callie assures her.

Arianna snorts her disagreement, but nods and slips through the door. Callie resumes Ari's eavesdropping position.

"Miss Robbins," Carlos greets.

"Mr. Torres, I don't know…"

"I will do the talking, Miss Robbins. Sit down."

Arianna does as she is told and sits in the chair next to his at the kitchen table.

"You corrupted her. You came here and you infiltrated her thoughts with your disease. And worse, Miss Robbins, worse than that is that you corrupted her children."

"I love her, Mr. Torres…"

"I said I would do the talking!"

"No!" Arianna shouts. "No, sir," she adds. "I need you to listen to me. I don't care if you hate me. I can handle that, but I will not allow you to say that I corrupted your daughter or her children. I love her, sir. And I love your children with all that I am."

Arianna stops to gauge Carlos's reaction. When he says nothing, she continues. "Ever since I learned that I felt this way toward women." Carlos cringes, but she ignores him. "Ever since I learned that, I have been lost. I have not belonged anywhere or to anyone. I joined a convent, but that did not suit me. From day one, your daughter has treated me with nothing but respect and acceptance. With her, and with her family, I feel like I belong. I feel that I have finally found my purpose on this earth, and that purpose is to love her and to love her children."

Carlos once again says nothing. He simply stares at his tea and runs a finger over the handle of the cup, listening intently.

"I love your daughter. And I protect the things I love, not that I need to. She doesn't need it. She's strong and caring and honorable. And she's who you raised her to be."

Carlos lifts his cup once more to his lips and takes a long gulp in an attempt to hide his reaction to Arianna's speech.

"I need to rest now. Would you please take me to my room, Arianna?"

Arianna nods immediately and helps Carlos out of his chair. The older man smiles gratefully and lets her lead him to his room.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** I am not Catholic, nor do I know much about Catholicism in 1814, so I apologize if parts of this chapter are inaccurate.

**Chapter 13**

**Winter – 1814**

As the days get shorter and the nights longer, the winter winds blow cold drafts through the manor. A chill has settled over the estate and a fire is always roaring heartily in the hearth, warming and strengthening the occupants.

This is where Carlos Torres spends most of his days now as his body needs all of the warmth it can get. Lucia, Callie, and even Arianna have made it their jobs to see that he is always comfortable and that he always has food. The children keep him company, often playing the piano or performing little skits, made up or otherwise.

Despite the family's best efforts, however, Carlos's health deteriorates, so much so that after the first snowfall of the winter, he is barely able to walk or eat. They make a permanent bed for him in front of the fire and take turns feeding him soup. The children, mature beyond their years, know that their grandfather won't be alive for much longer, but they all put on brave faces, even little Henry, who has learned not to clamber up onto his Carlos's lap. They regularly make designs in the snow just outside the parlor and knock on the window. Carlos lifts his head weakly and smiles at them encouragingly. Callie hardly has the heart to make them come inside when they are getting too cold.

It is Callie who finds Carlos gasping for breath one bitter morning in mid-December. He is pale and emaciated and it is abundantly clear to Callie that he will not make it much longer. He has three requests: some hot soup, for someone to call for both a doctor and a priest, and to speak to Arianna. Callie nods her head obediently at the first two demands, but her eyes widen at the third.

"Arianna?" she asks.

"Yes, mi hija. I want to speak to Miss Robbins," Carlos rasps. "Please."

"I'll send her in while I call for Dr. Cooper and the priest. You're going to be alright," Callie reassures hollowly.

She slips into the hallway and to the kitchen where she finds her mother and Arianna preparing breakfast for the family. She grabs both of their elbows and pulls them out of earshot of the children.

"I have to go to town today to call for Dr. Cooper and Father Brooks. Could you two look after the children?"

Lucia's eyes cloud over immediately but she nods. "Of course, darling."

"And Arianna, my father wants to speak to you. Before you ask, no, I do not know why."

**o0o0o**

Arianna knocks on the doorframe of the parlor to alert Carlos to her presence. The older man rolls his head to the side and nods weakly. She glides quickly over to his makeshift bed and sits on the edge of the chair next to him.

"Miss Robbins," Carlos croaks. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course, sir."

"As I'm sure you've gathered, I won't last much longer."

"Mr. Torres, don't say that…" Arianna pleads with a shake of her head.

"I am a realistic man, Arianna. I know that my body is weakening and that God and I are powerless to stop it."

"I'm sorry," Arianna whispers, unsure what to say to take away his pain.

"I don't approve of you and my daughter," Carlos begins.

"I know, sir," Arianna whispers.

"But nothing I will say will change the fact that you love her and that she returns your love."

"No, sir. I – "

"I want you to protect her," he interrupts. "You told me that you protect the things you love, so I'm asking you to protect her, because despite all rationality, you love her. She has no husband and soon she will have no father, so I want you to promise me that you will protect her."

"I promise." Arianna gently takes Carlos's bony hand in hers and squeezes lightly. "I promise that I will do everything in my power not to let her hurt ever again."

"Thank you," Carlos breathes. "As a father, I just want the best for her." His tone almost sounds apologetic.

"I know you do. I want the best for her, too."

"I'm glad we agree on that," Carlos says with a small chuckle, which immediately turns into a cough.

"I'll go see to your soup," Arianna says quietly, before removing her hand and slipping out of the room.

**o0o0o**

Callie returns several hours later with both Dr. Cooper and Father Brooks. Dr. Cooper confirms that Carlos is unlikely to last until Christmas. The doctor decided that Carlos most likely had something like a cancer of the stomach and that it is spreading through his weakening body.

With tears in her eyes, Callie pays the doctor and thanks him for coming. When she returns to the room, the children are huddled around Lucia and Arianna as Father Brooks takes the Holy Oil from his bag. He stands over Carlos's body and crosses him, anointing him with oil.

"O Holy Hosts above, I call upon Thee as a servant of Jesus Christ, to sanctify our actions this day in preparation for the fulfillment of the will of God," Father Brooks starts in a low, even tone.

Sofia softly weeps into her grandmother's neck, while Lucia calmly strokes her long, raven hair. Charlotte looks on with tearful eyes, and Henry watches with curiosity, too young to really understand what is happening, but mature enough to recognize the gravity of the situation. Callie joins her family in the corner and takes Arianna's hand as Father Brooks continues to perform the Last Rites.

He ends with the Benediction, saying, "We give Him glory as we give you unto His arms in everlasting peace, to be prepared to return into the denser reality of God the Father, creator of all. Amen."

"Amen," everyone choruses solemnly.

"Amen," Carlos whispers as Father Brooks crosses him one last time.

**o0o0o**

Three days later, Callie sits next to her father, gently stroking the protruding veins on the hand she has cradled between hers. His forgotten and now cold soup sits on the table next to his head.

"Calliope," he rasps, his throat dry and sore.

"Don't speak, Father. It's okay," Callie soothes.

"No, I have to say this. I want to see you in Heaven, Calliope."

"Father…" Callie whispers, the tears she has been holding back finally flowing over her eyelids.

"I _have_ to see you in Heaven, Calliope."

"You will, Father. You will."

"I hope so."

Callie doesn't know what to say, so she squeezes his hand harder as her tears drip over their entwined fingers.

"She loves you. That's all a father could wish for, I suppose. So, I hope I see you in Heaven," he says pointedly.

"You will," she repeats.

"I'm so tired, m'ija," Carlos murmurs.

"Go to sleep, Father. I'll be right here when you wake up," Callie promises with another squeeze of his hand.

"I love you, Calliope. Tell your mother and your children that I love them, too."

"You can tell them yourself when you wake up," Callie assures him with a watery smile.

Carlos nods and closes his eyes. Not five minutes later, his hand goes limp in hers. She gently lays his lifeless hand over his chest. Leaning over his body, Callie kisses her father's forehead as he takes his last breath.

**o0o0o**

**1 month later**

**Winter – 1815**

"It's been a year since I came here," Arianna mentions. She and Callie are up later than the rest of the family, relaxing after a long day and enjoying each other's company, just as they used to many months ago.

"It has, hasn't it? And what a year it has been," Callie whispers.

"So much loss," Arianna says softly, respectfully.

"And so much joy," Callie says with an adoring smile. She squeezes Ari's knee and pulls the smaller woman closer to her.

"You mean that?"

"Despite everything that happened this year, losing Mark Jr. and my father, I wouldn't change anything if it meant I never met you."

Overcome with a barrage of emotions, Arianna shakes her head to ward off her tears. She tilts her head up to Callie's and kisses her soundly.

"I never thought I'd be truly happy, Calliope. I thought I would live a lonely life and never understand true love. I have never been so thrilled to be wrong in my whole life."

Callie kisses her again, tracing her bottom lip with her tongue. She pulls back abruptly, despite Ari's moans of protest.

"And thank you for showing me that there is more to life than comfort," Callie says, recalling one of their first real conversations.

"Always."

**A/N:** So there you have it: the last chapter. Thank you all so much for your awesome reviews and support. This is obviously a very different story from what is usually posted here, so it was awesome to hear your feedback! There might be an epilogue (I'm still toying with the idea), but this seems quite final and definitive to me, but we shall see.


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